GW#2 - p10 (9)

Ok, so my friend from New York, Sassy Velour gave me this so as to advertise her fan club. The proceeds from this club either go to putting Sassy through grad school or maybe she'll shoot it all into her arm. You never know with that nutty chick. But for all of you who have ever dreamed of starting your own cult of personality, why don't you just support this one then see how it works out (& I'll report back to you on how it's going) and you can decide if you want to go through with it on your own or not. Plus you'll get something in your mailbox, loser.

Sassy Velour FAN CLUB!
[image of a woman]
A BIG SASSY HELLO TO ALL OF MY LOYAL FANS AND ADMIRERS OUT THERE! SURE, THE LIFE OF A LOUNGE SINGER / SPOKESMODEL IS GLAMOROUS AND EXCITING, BUT I OWE IT ALL TO YOU, MY FANS. TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LOVING SUPPORT FOR ALL THESE YEARS, I'M OFFERING YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL!!! A CHANCE TO JOIN THE Sassy Velour FAN CLUB!
HERE'S WHAT YOU GET:
- AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF ME, Sassy Velour
- A PERSONAL Sassy Velour FAN CLUB WALLET-SIZED MEMBERSHIP CARD. "IT'S LAMINATED"!
- SOMETHING UNIQUE, SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT, SOMETHING NOT QUITE LIKE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS [?]

JUST SEND ONE DOLLAR AND A SELF-ADDRESSED, STAMPED ENVELOPE TO:
Sassy Velour FAN CLUB
P.O. BOX 33510
AUSTIN, TX 78764