Austin Fanzine Project

tomato time

In stark contrast with last issue's dis of the alleged Drew Barrymore article in High Society, I suggest you check out a copy of the January(?) Playboy. It has an excellent pictorial of young Miss Barrymore that is hotter and steamier than Beaumont in July.

Bar joke of the month: "So, this grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, did you know we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper says, "Really? You have a drink called Murray?"

Ask Susan to tell you the bear hunter joke.

There you go. That's it. That's all.

Tomato Time

Ok, so (I think I'm gonna start every piece in this issue with "Ok, so...") Ok, so, we went into Tower Records the other night to look at zines or books or something, and we go offered a sample of fucking Calvin Klein perfume! I said, "So how is it that you got hooked up passing out perfume samples?" He said, "Because One is a new, unique fragrance specially formulated for use by both men and women!" "OH MY GOD!!. "I shrieked, "now I can piece it all together. A record store. A new unique fragrance. A perfect match!" What the fuck folks? I guess I should have seen it coming when I went to the super-mega-Tower in Chicago. It was like a fucking mall in there! It had CD's, tapes, books, magazines, zines, clothes, everything except records. They should change their name or something. Tower Perfume (and shit).

GANK ALERT: Do not, I repeat, do not buy the November 1994 issue of High Society with "Bad Girl Barrymore's Bare Breasts." It sucks. It's 6 bucks and all it has is some movie stills and a picture of a breast, it's not necessarily hers even, cause it's not even attached to a body. Well here's the best parts:

Just rent some of her movies. Poison Ivy is really hot and Doppelganger is a really predictable horror flick. It's really bad, but you get to see her bein' sexy and all. And Gun Crazy is good and violent and it has a cameo by Joe Dallesandro of Warhol fame!