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Letter No. 89, Sunday 28th Dec Major J. H. Massey 6 Palestinian Corp, The Buffs MEF My own darling heart - I arrived back from my Xmas visit to the Hopkins in Haifa at 7-30 this evening. I have been busy ever since, as many things had to happen during my absence, nothing at all having happened for 3 1/2 months. And I also found a large bunch of letters & cards waiting for me, including [miraculously ?] your letter no 61 from Oct 26th, AG's of 2 & 8 Nov- the latter giving me the copy of Hughes certificate. It is now 11-30 pm & I cannot write much longer. I wanted to make a beginning - I have so much to tell you about the "most important topic" - & about my leave - & still to answer properly your 3 delayed letters which arrived last week. And to tell you again how much I adore & love you & long for you with all my heart. Your Xmas parcel was [lovely underlined], my darling - thank you very much indeed. All the contents are very useful & what I want & used & I'm so pleased to have Tolstoy's book. I took the parcel with me to Haifa & opened it on Xmas morning. Your letter was sweet & made me so happy [& sad ?]. I wore a pair of the socks straightaway, I put Vaseline Hair Tonic on my hair, I powdered myself in all the places after my bath; I kissed the [Perlis ?] too, & pulled the crackers with the Hopkins child. It was a lovely parcel & I was so pleased you made me wait to open it until Dec. 25. I am furious with myself now for not sending such a parcel to you &
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to Maxie, with strict instructions to leave it unopened until Xmas day. Monday 29th Dec I really must buy another pad, as this stuff is too thin to be legible on both sides. It is annoying because this darned thing cost 3/6 - such are prices nowadays. I had better tell you about the important one first of all, as that is the most important thing. I'm afraid it is unsuccessful darling . I have sent you an AG today to say so. It is dreadfully sad & disappointing, but you & I can only face it - & I never felt really hopeful only our hope will slip away, & I suppose you were much the same. I have had no reply at all, so I suppose there's still a faint hope, but I am afraid it was very fair indeed. Even the Army could not be so slow as this, as the release had to be in to the ultimate H.Q. weeks ago. But I do think they might have the courtesy & commom decency to reply, if only to "regret". I saw Col Leicester last week, he had sent my application on as High Commander, but could tell me no more. I told you before, there are only a very few vacancies to each Command, & so it is all a matter of competition & opinion. But I shall not give up. I shall now write a personal letter to Col Leicester & ask his advice & perhaps help. It is better to write than to go straight away & see him about a thing like this, then he can have time to assemble his thoughts & ideas. In any case, I shall apply again at the next opportunity, & be able to send Hugh's letter as well the next time. And it is just possible that Col L may be able to give helpful advice, even propose
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the ground, a little for me. When I saw him last week, he made noises as though he would try & find out something but I did want to press it, then.
You must not worry, darling sweet, that I shall get myself into trouble with all this. I am being very circumspect & respectful - in any case, I am only replying to a general circular for applications. In any case, my sweetheart, it has been more than heartening to hear you say in your letters how well you are now really - & that [illegible] all your [illegible] again in order & in place your stomack muscles in good form. I was very worried about you, dearest sweet. I would [illegible] feel very much happier if I could be nearer to you, quite [illegible]. I am [illegible] longing to be with you. I [illegible] realise from your letters that your [illegible] was not your choosing at all & really depended on your [illegible] poor soul [illegible] that you [illegible] feeling. It is [illegible] & so that is that. It will be hard more interesting for you [illegible] your [illegible] if only you can have a comfortable & pleasant home in which to live. And also some work to make you feel useful to the war effort. But you must not have any guilty conscience about that [illegible] [illegible] have been quite enough for that [illegible] of [illegible] lives - you have a strong son to look after & bring up - & I am out here, instead of being
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reserved in Bradford, which it could have been. So do not go & do anything which you don't want to do, darling. If you can find such work which is not as hard, & which you want to do, & where they want you, that would be alright. Otherwise, you can concentrate on Maxie - on some of your own work - & are writing to me, to keep up my morale & war effort. By which I do not mean you must write cheerfully if you do not feel like it. All your letters are all the world to me & I want to hear all about you. But do keep well my sweetest - & never worry about me. I am very careful & well behaved - & I keep in excellent health, & I do not think the Nazis will come this way - if they do we shall be a match for them - & even if they come as far as this, I shall probably have to take my Jews away behind enemy lines to guard a Base or [illegible] of [illegible] But I do not think that will happen. And I shall come home [illegible] having seen a Nazi, or [illegible] not a hero at all. It is a little galling to think of at times - but somebody has to do this job. & nothing is of importance compared with coming home to you. You must promise me never to blame me or laught at me ([illegible]) for having been in such a safe & cushy job all the time. I don't think you will, somehow. And now [illegible] Xmas - it was a pleasant &
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quiet & v. cheap. I went up to Haifa Wednesday afternoon, Xmas Eve, by bus; 60 miles for 2/6. Everything, & Jack Hopkins in particular, was in a big flap when I arrived, as a 10,000 ton oil tanker had just blown up in the Port of Suez, & was burning furiously. The Captain was in hospital, poor Jack was more or less in charge. It had probably been caused by a delayed action mine, from months ago - rottenest luck - fortunately, [ ?] loss of life was very small and the fire was soon under control but burned for over 2 hours. You see from this letter, I stayed until Sunday, it was thoughtfully kind & good of them to have me for so long, & I did not outstay my welcome, because when I left they made me promise not to be so long in coming to see them again next time. We really did nothing all the time, except eat turkey, drink champagne & stuff, to read & talk & sleep & go to bed. I enjoyed it very much. Jack had to work every day, & they are a bit handicapped in the evenings by only having a young Arab girl to look after the child. But I did not mind a bit not going out & in fact I rather preferred it. We had a lucky escape on Xmas day. The Captain, being in hospital, his wife [Gladys ?] , the Admiral's daughter, & about whom I have told you before, was pretty well [wished over ?] the Hopkin's for dinner. But at the last moment, the Captain was let out of hospital, & so she did not come - except to call in in the morning. She really is bloody
