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Letter No 44 Friday. 23 May.
Major J.H. Massey,
6 Palestinian Coy, The Buff,
Middle East Forces
My darling Barbara -
I cannot settle down to write a letter,
or to do anything else for that matter,
until I hear the news from you. I thought
it was bad enough when I was hanging
about Arthington & Horsforth. & as bad
as it could be when I was in Chater.
But here, it is impossible. It all may
have happened, & I may not know for
days. I had your 18th letter today, telling
me of all that Hughes was doing for
you, & I feel very confident that all
will be well but I am very anxious
& jumpy, my darling. You have been
tough so much, sweetheart, & I
konw you will be frightened. Its is
hellish. I know I could do so much
to help you if I was there, with
you. I always feel happy & proud &
thankful that I am able to comfort
you when you are distressed or
frightened. I would give anything
in the world to be with you, if
only I could be, just for a few
days. I could make your mind easier
& make you forget about what was
coming. I should talk to you & listen
to you, & fetch & carry for you.

even do a silly danse for you, to make
you laugh. And I would make tea for
you & "create" a supper for you. And I
would undress you, pull your stokings
& knicks off & unclip you BB & kiss
you in all the places. Oh darling
angel, I can feel you & smell you
as I write this. And then I would
bath you & dry you & then we would
lie in bed, wrapped up & very close
& you would feel very content, wouldn't
you, sweethest ? If only this could
have been allowed to happen. I know it
would all make such a difference
to you, & I would so love to be
able to comfort & help you. I'm thinking
& hoping all the time for you, darling.
That Hughes will be really wonderful
& that you will not know too much
about it & then your worries will be over &
you will have something to live
for & to work for again.
Darling, dearest Barbara, you do know
& realise how much I love you, don't
you ? Because it is just all &
everything of me, & every ounce of my
heart & soul. I do want you to really
want my love, & then to realise