p.

it would be much more interesting. But if it were
like that, you would have to worry constantly about
my safety, survival - & I should have much less time to
write you letters -& many of your letters would possibly
fail to find me. And so we should be missing &
worrying about each other even far more that at
present & life would be hovering around the limit
of what can be endured. It is all a question of
missing you & longing for you - which indicates of course
just how happy I was & how much I loved you - &
just how happy I expect to be again & how much I shall
be able to put into effect my love for you
again. Time seems to go along quickly, from week
to week & weekend to week-end & so on - but
it now does feel an age since we parted
from each other at Gobowen. It is 16 1/2 months, which is
a long time, & a tragic slice out of lives such
as ours, at a tragic time too. But it seems
so long ago, darling. It is unbearable to have to
be away from you, from Maxie - & I never
stop thinking so, longing & pining for you.
I think, sweetheart, that when I come home, at first
I shall want to hold you very tight in my arms,
and lay my head on your breasts, & just cry. The
relief, the happiness & joy are going to be too great.
I do hope we shall be able to find a house, even
a temporary one, that we shall not have to hang
about for any length of time in rooms or hotels.
As we have both, apparently, firmly decided, our
house & home is very important, & must be lovely
in every way. But if we cannot find quickly
what we want, we must find something else