Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Capt J. H. Massey. 6th Palestinian Coy. The Buffs Middle East Forces

Letter no 27

25 Mar 41

Darling Sweetheart Another letter today - your no 19 of Dec 24 & 25, & this time posted by sea mail, so it has taken exactly 3 months to get here. I now feel that anything may arrive, any day, your current ones by air mail, which seems to be coming along in fairly normal sequence - & all the missing ones, some by sea mail, & some to that awful address, & some combining the two disadvantages. It seems foolish, in a way, to attempt to answer a letter three months old, which will be 4 1/2 - 5 months old when this one reaches you. But I am compelled to say some things, because it is the first letter I have had from you which directly answers questions mine, about whether you love me, & wanting to know if I have made you happy, & if you have left yourself to be appreciated by me. Your answers are so completely mavellous & satisfactory & warm hearted towards me, that I must answer you again. What you said in your letter has made me feel so happy today - & much more than that darling. It has given me a deep, wonderful feeling of exhiliration & security & contentment & achievement too. And a passionate yearning to come home too you, & put an end, forever to this horrible & heartbreaking waste of time of being separated from you. It is lovely, my darling, that we have both been feeling the same things, as our first letters to each other have shown. And now comes your letter answering one of mine. There is no shadow of doubt that we have been quite wonderfully happy with each other. And I feel so strongly that there is equally

2. no doubt that we are even going to be immeasurably happier with each other. We had several tasters last year of being apart from each other - & we always found that it was no good, & you, like an angel from Heaven, came up to me in Cheshire, & in Liverpool & in Northern Ireland. I shall never forget you jumping off the train at Beeston Castle, with a tennis raquet in your hand. and the Exchange Hotel in Liverpool - how lovely & marvellous you were, my sweetheart - I feel warm & thrilled when I think of you. And our pleasant, funny, sometimes sad, life in Warrenpoint. Bicycles, Guinness, & soldiering, & Maurice's gossip, Muriels wife, & Frank Harrisons sister, & my C.B, & the sergeants dance, & dozens & hundreds of things if only I had thorwn myself into things in the 5th, & forgotten about the 7th, & done a bit of bumming - I suppose I would still be there & so would you. Oh dear - one never knows what is for the best. Perhaps this seperation is - obviously. All the time I am away from you, I am remembering more & more, thinking more & more, of all we have done together. As I have toldyou before, I think - I'm sure that I have changed in the last few months. At last, art does interest me - though I have always been interested in your work - & so do books, & reading, & seeing things & places. And no longer do Iw ant to go out much, or even at all. I only want to write to you, & think of you, & read for you, & save money for you, & work for you, & keep well for you. I'm sure you will like me better darling! And we should have so much more in common with each other, & be most wondeful companions to each other. Everything is so much more innteresting & more fun, together isn't it? And then when we come together again - we shall begin with a wonderful new honeymoon. Knowing each other so well, & loving each other so much - & yet having forgotten each other

3. in a way, & so being so new to each other. And we shall have so much to tell each other & so much to ask each other. This will be a glorious, wonderful time, & such a magnificent beginning to our new life - & it must & will continue. I wonder where we shall go to? I expect somewhere in England in the country or by the sea - & far away from anybody we know. Nobody must distract us from each other - except the baby, who must of course come with us. Oh dearest Barbara - I feel so proud, & satisfied, & enchanted to have made you happy. It is an achievement, & I am very proud of myself. And it gives me enormous courage & confidence for the future, because having done so already, now I know that I always can & always will do so. And so this future is assured, & we can look forward to life. You are right, my dear sweet, never for one single instant did I ever wish that I was not worried to you. I suppose it is almost a record - but then you are unique, & there is nobody like you. And we certainly never became staid or settled - very far from that, I'm quite sure, we never will do. As far as love & passion was concerned, I always felt that I had to make love to you, & I know I always shall feel that. Haven't we had glorious, heavenly times? You have always been so sweet & glorious & passionate, my darling - & when we have been making love, you have always allowed ^^me to do everything I wanted to do to you. Oh darling one, I have such wonderful memories of you, such gloriously wonderful memories. And such wonderful thoughts for the future. I think about yo so much. I'm quite certain that there is nobody else who is as lucky & fortunate & blessed as I am. And so to my so very lonely bed. xxxxxx Harry Wednesday 26th March I'm always so late when I begin to

4. write to you, nowadays. Last night, it was 10-30 - having been at it in the company office until 7-15, & then supper, & then I was sent for about a fire, which turned out to be nothing. And tonight is worse, as it is now 11-0 o'clock. The C.S.M has gone away on a job for a few days - & that meant 2 hours work after supper for me. There is really no very thrilling news - life just goes steadily on, & all I can tell you about is odds & ends of the daily round, & various bits of this & that I have finally become browned off at not being a Major. I have worked like hell for two months now, & have done my job & the second in command's as well. Everything in the company is in jolly good order - & they have earned a frightfully good name for themselves in this Area. And all the other companies are commanded by majors, & they have 1st class 2nd I/C to do a large part of the donkey work for them. So I wrote a letter to the Military Secretary today, asking for an interview: he is the man who has to do with promotions & appointments etc. Every day that goes past, we are losing 12/- which we might as well have. 56 days have gone past so far, which is £30-16-0. So when it comes, I shall make a bold bid for back pay. The confirmation of my captaincy in the paid rank, came through in orders yesterday - & was dated back to Feb 3rd so that 1st step is alright. But goodness knows how soon the extra 3/6 a day will take effect at home. So I wrote to the Paymaster yesterday, & asked him, & also enquired

5.

if there was anything I could do, or ask him to do, to expidate matters. Damn it - its nearly £10 from then until now - & time marches on - & it might as well be in Martins Bank, Bradford. I do so hope you have had my cable about the bank, & my expenses & know everything is alright. We arranged to have no misunderstandings, but that one must have been difficult to understand. And you did your very best to make excuses for me, which were not necessary, but which were very sweet of you. But I am still very upset that it happened at all, & I shall not be really happy again or stop thinking about it, until I have a cable from you that you are reassured. And, of course, that particular cable of yours which said "worried money, please economise" - would be the one to go astray & take weeks to reach me. I had another cable the same day as that one, which said "address still Nash, Eastlodge etc." Do you know that is the very first one I had telling me your address! It is wicked, where they go to, really. You can understand now, why I was so worried & always asking yu for your address. My letters from you were from Elinor's place, & I knew you would not be staying there so very long & never sent any of my letters there. Now then this last one of yours, is the first I have had giving Joans address. And so now I can carry out your instrucion to send any letters which may arrie after May 8 - to Joan's. I am enclosing another of these photos of me. I sent 3 off to you by sea mail, in February, so this will probably arrive first. They are all the same - not very good. I'm afraid. I sent one to Jimmy cardwell the other day, when I wrote to him - for the first time since leaving the ship. I told him your father had died - & so I hoped there would not be any funny business with my 1/2 salary from the aassociation