The String of Pearls (1850), p. 45

this parlour as never was with those words in your mouth, than you'd have dared to have flown, if you hadn't had your cousin, Big Ben, the beef-cater, from the Tower, with you."
"Take it easy, ma'am," said Ben, as he sat down in a chair, which immediately
broke all to pieces with his weight. " Take it easy, ma'am; the devil— what's
this?"

"Never mind, Ben," said Mr. Oakley, "it's only a chair ; get up."
" A cheer," said Ben; "do you caU that a cheer ? but never* mind— take it
easy,"

" Why, you big, bullying, idle, swilling and guttling ruffian !"
" Go on, marm, go on."

" You good-for-nothing lump of carrion; a dog wears his own coat, but you
wear your master's, you great stupid, overgrown, lurking hounci. You parish-
brought-up wild beast, go and mind your lions and elephants in the Tower, and
don't come into honest people's houses, you cut-throat, bullying, pickpocketing
wretch."

" Go on, marm, go on."

This was a kind of dialogue that could not last, and Mrs. Oakly sank down
exhausted, and then Ben said—

" I tell you what, marm, I considers you—I looks upon you, marm, as a female
wariety of that ere animal as is very useful and sagacious, marm."

There was no mistake in this 'allusion, and Mrs. Oakley was about to mako
some reply, when the Rev. Mr. Lupin rose from his chair, saying—

" Bless you all ! I think I'll go home."

"Not yet, Mr. Tulip," said Ben; "you had better sit down again— we've got
something to say to you."

" Young man, young man, let me pass. If you do not, you will endanger your
soul."

"I aint got none," said Ben; "I'm only a beef-eater, aud don't pretend to such
luxuries."

"The heathen!" exclaimed Mrs. Oakley, "the horrid heathen! but there's one
consolation, and that is, th t he will be fried in his own fat for everlasting."

"Oh, that's nothing," said Ben; " I think 1 shall like it, especially if it's any
pleasuie to you. I suppose that's what you call a Christian consolation, Will
you sit down, Mr. Tulip ?*

" My name aint Tulip, but Lupin ; but if you wish it, I don't mind sitting down,
of couise."

The beef-eater, with a movement of his foot, kicked away the reverend gentle-
man's chair, and down he sat with a dab upon the floor.

" My dear," said Mr. Oakley to Johanna, "you go to bed, and then your mother
can't say you have anything to do with this affair. I intend to rid my house of
this man. Good night, my dear, good night."

Johanna kissed her father on the cheek, and then left the room, not at all sorry
that so vigorous a movement was about being made for the suppression of Mr.
Lupin. When she was gone, Mrs, Oakley spoke, saying—

" Mr. Lupin, I bid you good night, and, of course, after the rough treatment of
these wretches, I can hardly expect you to come again. Good night, Mr. Lupin,
goodnight." : ^

"That's all very well, marm," said Ben, " but before this ere wild beast of a
parson goes away, I want to admonish him. He don't seem to be wide awake, and
I must rouse him up/'

Ben took hold of the reverend gentleman's nose, and gave it such an awful
pinch, that when he took his finger and thumb away, it was perfectly blue,

"Murder ! oh, murder ! my nose ! my nose !" shrieked Mr. Lupin, and at that
moment Mrs. Oakley, who was afraid to attack Ben, gave her husband such an
open-handed whack on the side of his head, that the little man reeled again, and
saw a great many more lights than the Rev. Mr. Lupin had done under the in-
fluence of the mulled wine.