McFarland-Russell Letter, November 8, 1882

Newton, Newton Co Texas Nov 8 1882 Mrs Kate C Russell Dear Sister

I am so lonely this evening, Mr Smith is away only the little boys with me, and I had to sit up so late last night I read all my stories, so I can not sew for I am feeling so blue. All day long I have thought continuely of Mary & seem to see her every where why it is I can not account for it. I have read all of her old letters over this evening Oh! my dear dead Sister, will I ever get over her loss. No Kate never. She was so constant so kind in her visit to me, now I never can ride up to the old Homeplace with out nearly suffocating for I am as bound to weep, but how plainly I seem to see her waiting at the gate and Pa looking so pleased to see me. Oh my heart is sore from this loss. And you and I are so far apart we never can indulge in visits and then even if I could go to see you we are so many to put up on Bob to stay a week, I know you do not care but he works hard for his living But if I see any chance to go I will go down and stay two or three days just to see you all not to go visit in town, But I see no passable chance now for Mr Smith's surveying has just begun, I am in

very good health now no cough no weakness like last year, and I am realy getting fleshy I am geting a great deal since so than when I was there. Mr. Smith says it because I work so hard since he was sick I do do a great deal more work he teases me about working he says he wants to move me out so he can get another wife but he says he will have to fall on another play as work agrees so well with me. I wish you could come up to see us. What's the use of wishing I have wished and expected every week to hear you are coming until I have concluded you will never get here, I am going to try prettie hard to get a chance to go to see you, and Ed & Sam, before another year runs around. I do so want to go to Newton sunday to church but reckon I cant. Martin said I could get a mule from him or a horse either, but Mr Smith may not go after it; Kate what is a nice pattern to make an alpaca dress. I am going to buy me one and want to make it since I have just made [ ?] & Tom a nice suit of Tweeds and I have to make them another nice suit so I can be ready then to visit at a moments notice Mr [ Natine?] staid here last night you remember him Allison Notine, he is a funny fellow to be sure. I did not get to hear the presiding Elder preach oh he is such an eloquent

preacher I think. But I can not help it I have not paid any thing to the church this year. You ask me about Sam I do not know any thing in the world about them have not heard since court time only the surveyor said he reckoned they were well he was down in there some few days since and heard nothing to the contrary. If I can I will help them if they are very needy but I tride that once but it failed and now I will aid them another way if they stand in need of help. I shall get Mr Smith to send him some mercy, but that would not be the right way if they need provision buy it and send it to them if they had money they would by [nic nac ?]. Oh! Kate you have no idea how wastful they are not meaning any harm by saying so, But I could tell you of things I will not write I am so sorry too for them but that does them no good to be [sorry ?] without aid. If I ever get able to make money of my own I will buy him a place and give it to him and I think he could then paddle his own canoe. You laugh at the idea of my making money but I will I am going to take stock and have my own part in something there I will do something for him if he is alive but I can surer ask Mr Smith to do more than help him from starving if it comes to that

for I put him to great trouble before conserning him with out any help either way only what time they start here they had there provision clear. And I agreed then that I would not be bothered with any of his ^Mr Smith^ folk and we would not be bothered with Sam & family any more, And so help me God I will not have any of his people here to wait on our take care of any way only when they came on a visit, by that contract I got rid of Lazy [ ?], and any likelyhood of any more of them. And we allso have got Sam away but Mr Smith is not made at Sam at all neither did they fall out while here, but only broke up peacefully that will do. If Lillie comes out to see you and she is industrious try to keep her she will be a great help as well as company no need for her not to be. She is grown I expect. No need to ask her to come to see me nobody does that, all the company I have is my own family and the gentlemen that come to see Mr Smith you can judge how much company an old or young man either as to me If I could sometimes cry I would from pure vexation of spirit, just because I am so faraway from the busy world, and yet I am [ using ?] for if I have my boys and Mr Smith why not be satisfide, to tell the truth I am, only at times I want to see something new and hear the news. Oh my paper is out too soon Goodbye Love to all your Sister affectionately Maggie Smith

Tell the children I will write some thing to them [ ?] & time Kisses for them Miz & Jane are looking for santaclaus to come [ ?] is with Cecile & Mary and Maggie. If you do make me a present of [ ?] I will have it ground and keep it for your sake Perhaps I will make you a present too before I know it if I can think what will suit you best.