cam_hparker_2311_f001_008.1

San Francisco Sunday Oct 10th/52

My Dear Mother,

Do you call me a liar --
a deceiver -- and that too when I think you
have no reason for doing so. Indeed it is too
true, & when I read your letter dated Aug 31st I was
astonished to think that when I was doing all in
my power to atone for my past undutiful conduct,
& trying to do what was right hoping to please you
& to relieve all your anxious feelings for my future
welfare -- while doing all I could do in order that
my conduct might merit your kind approbation,
again I say while doing thus -- then to receive a letter
from you written in such a manner -- it was
too hard -- and while feeling happy in anticipation
of being forgiven for the ill manner in which I
have treated you for two years past, I say while
anticipating this which made me feel happy -- Alas!
my happiness was suddenly changed to misery by
receiving your letter wherein you saw fit to charge
me with lying deceiving &c, & then for the first time
was I aware that my words could not be believed
when I pledged my sacred word & honor that they
were true -- & worse than all to be doubted by
my own mother! Is it possible that I have brought
myself so low & that my mother sister & brother have
lost all confidence in me. I cannot believe it true

Over