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Extra! Extra! Keg Fly Returns!

Last Saturday, I'd just gotten home from work when I heard one knock on the door. It was none other than Travis Higdon, the most famous name in Garage Rock so far this decade. Travis came in and explained (over four vodka tonics, of course) that he missed doing a fanzine and he especially missey his Keg Fly feature which used to appear in each issue of Peek-A-Boo fanzine and was eventually picked up by the Associated Press for worldwide syndication. He said that his only regret about the demise of Peek-A-Boo and his subsequent career change (he is now a record producer) is that he feels like, in writing the Keg Fly feature he was really close to a revolutionary breakthrough in the fields of communication and sociology. Well, I decided to help out. "I have a fanzine." I told him. "I'd be honored to publish your column." Travis accepted and we drank five toasts (five is a very auspicious number where Travis comes from). So, kids, here it is, the incredible return of the incomparable writing of Mr. Travis Higdon, Esq...

Graphic: the triumphant return of the Keg Fly by Travis Higdon

Friday, Feb 15
I go word of this great bash of BeBop Lane and I planned to go after I got back from studying in the library since I am a student, but when I got home. I found that the stress of UT was too much for me to handle without the aid of my old pal, the demon alcohol. Around 11:30, I decided to head out for the party, but I only made it as far as the corridor of my apartment complex before I passed out.

Saturday, Feb 16
I woke up at about 3pm and had a couple shots of tequila and some beer. I felt good. Then I passed out.

Sunday, Feb 17
Mom called today and I passed out.

Monday, Feb 18
Sat in class this morning wondering if I could be an alcohloic. Figured I probably could. Went home and tried it.

Two weeks later...
I don't go out any more. I just drink. This is the last Keg Fly column. Sorry if you put your faith in this zine and thought we could keep it up for any period of time. We're just a bunch of kids, jeez. Fuck you, sucker.