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rupted by [visitants?] for scarcely a morning passed without
such desultory habits were thus produced that the mind
was left feeble, inactive, & distracted. At times when
inclinded to read with attention to turn my eye inward
I see what was [?] passing, to reflect on the past
or resolve for the future, those unceasing calls or
interruptions of society diverted me from myself,
wthout interesting me for others, time passed thus, was
often wearisome, for when we associate with those
who [deleted]have[deleted] excite no interest, [deleted]in our a[deleted] our affections
are chilled, & when the mind is inactive or
the heart cold, life cannot be enjoyed.- My associ
-ations were among what is called the best. The first
society. Therefore, I cannot cast [inserted]the blame on[inserted] the circle in which
I moved, no, no, to live in a fashionable circle,
to live in a city, is to part with ones liberty. -
Alass, what do we gain by the sacrifice of all the
pleasures of reflection, of imagination, of meaning,
of feeling, of a discharge of domestic duty, the
constant presence of our children, to contemplation
of the ever changing, but ever beautiful appearance
of [deletion] nature, what do we gain? For me,
nothing! I love society, but not such as I have
hitherto enjoyed at Washington. To me that
society is barren of enjoyment where the
heart & mind finds neither exercise nor ex
-pression. - In the country we have not what
is called company, but in the country I am