M[ary] A[nne] Rawson to Frederick Douglass, February 2, 1863

Private

Wincobank Hall

Rotherham

Feb. 2. 1863.

Dear Mr. Douglass,

I have received through my dear friend, Miss Amé-Draz, your kind messages of christian sympathy, and I must write a line of grateful acknowledgement. But I have written very few letters and I find the employment very burdensome. I cannot say what I wish. My head & hand are weak and my heart is very

heavy, as if a great cold stone were pressing on it. You know what sorrow and bereavement are. I remember how much you suffered when you lost your dear little girl—but you had other children to turn to, to love and care for. You do not know what it is to have lost your all. But it is the Lord. I must be dumb and open not my mouth, because He has done it. I have the sweetest recollections of my beloved daughter's holy, useful life, and I have the strongest assurance that, through

infinite grace, her ransomed spirit is at rest in the Saviour's presence where there is fullness of joy. But this does not prevent the present from being most dreary & desolate. I long so intensely to see that dear face, to hear that sweet face, to touch that vanished hand.

I am thankful that my deep sorrows do not so far absorb me, as to prevent my feeling for and with my friends, and from what Miss A.D. hints, I fear you are feeling anxiety and care. But I cannot

help hoping & believing that there is a good time coming for you and your dear people. A time of transition, a time of revolution and war, must always be attended with trials but there is a bright future before you, even on earth. And how delightful it is for us both, under our different burdens of sorrow, to be permitted to look forward to that time which cannot be far distant when we shall join the redeemed multitude before the throne, and God himself shall wipe away all our tears—

I have been so much interested in all that Miss A.D. has told me of your noble-minded Daughter. May her efforts to elevate her race and to support herself be as successful as she can desire.

I can never understand why you and other Anti-slavery friends object to colonisation. It is a plan which commends itself to me. I wish you would write something about it in your "Monthly." I should like to see you editing a paper in Liberia. I think you would be happier and