Rosine Amé-Draz to Frederick Douglass, March 1, 1863

Plymouth

Devon

16. The Crescent

March 1st / 63

My Very Dear Friend,

I often wonder if you have received all my letters, not because I have been expecting to hear from you. I know you have not time to write—And you know that I would not take even a small portion of your precious time from your dear people—who have so much need it—but because I do not receive your paper now, and I begin to fear you have never received my new address—It is a great privation to me not to see the Monthly—for you cannot imagine

how I prize it and how longingly I look forward to its coming. It is almost like receiving a letter from my dear valued friend. It is useless to ask Mrs Crofts to send my address to the person who directs the Monthly. So that I am obliged very unwittingly to trouble you, my dear friend and once more to ask you kindly to give my present address to whoever you employ to forward the papers to subscribers—For the last fourteen months I have entreated Mrs C. to give directions that another number for which I subscribe—for a poor colored man I never cease to pray for you. I could not live now without daily bringing you and yours before the throne of eternal love and mercy. I do not despair of seeing you happy in the fulfilment of all your earnest desires concerning the deliverance of your people from bondage. Oh. May God hasten the time of your rejoicing and reward:—On my way down here I spent one day in Bathe to see my dear old friend Mr. Mulder the Orphans father and I also had the pleasure of making Miss Mary Carpenter's acquaintance. Mrs. Carpenter at Halifax had kindly given me a letter of introduction to her. We spoke of you dear friend. She read to me some beautiful lines She addressed to you on your leaving England

England fifteen years ago. It was refreshing to my spirit to see and hear that noble woman. We soon became friends. I love her and I think she loves me too. The dear lady in Cheltenham who took such a real interest in you & in your cause is dead She had just expressed a desire to hear more of your book. I immediately replied to her letter. Mine reached Cheltenham a few hours before her death! My heart received another wound when the bad news reached me How empty the world is getting—as friend after friend departs! Oh how much and especially you are in my thoughts my beloved friend at this season of the year. When yours must be so full of that sweet previous darling child. who entered into her rest three years ago! I keep her memory in my heart—and I love her as if I had known and seen her sweet form. Yet a little while and we shall be for ever reunited to her. It requires courage and patience to wait for that blessed time of reunion with those who are so beloved by us. Oh how I long more and more to leave this sad world. God alone knows! I hope soon when the days are a little longer to be able to resume my painting for you. My dear friend I so want to help you!

You do not know how very unhappy I am. Often when I think of my want of power to do all I wish to do for you—how many bitter tears I shed in secret for I feel convinced that you must suffer much from the effects of this terrible war. If I had anything valuable how happy I should be to sell it for your cause—and for but I possess nothing but my talents—and these are less and less remunerated though acknowledged by those in whose service I use them! I seem doomed, not to get on in the world–I wish I could get on—and prosper for the sake of those I love—for myself. I do not care. Bread & water could suffice me in this country—might be sent to my address—but it has been all in vain—Mrs. C. does not even answer my notes—on this subject—and obstinately continues to let it go to Wincobank Hall—Miss Read says: She cannot undertake to forward it to me every month—So the poor old man is deprived of a great pleasure—and I have now neither the one nor the other—Mrs Crofts insists on my communicating with her only about these matters—and yet she does not attend to any of my requests—If she were not your friend I should often feel vexed with her—So forgive these impatient expressions dear friend!

I know you will henceforth send me my two dear papers to comfort me in my solitude. I have not heard from dear Rosa for such a long time though I have written to her several times. I wonder where she is. Perhaps at home with you. I will enclose a note for her, Will you let her have it. My dear friend—I am determined this time not to speak of myself. I need not say that in the middle of daily increasing perplexities what trials. My thoughts are ever with you in your own deep troubles and trials