Rosine Amé-Draz to Frederick Douglass, March 5, 1863

Plymouth

16. The Crescent

March 5^th./63

My dear Friend

I have been very unhappy since I wrote to you about a week ago, and I can have no rest until I have asked your forgiveness for the impatient opus in which I expressed myself on the subject of the Monthly. Dear kind friend, I feel sure you will pardon me. My only excuse is that Mrs Crofts never having explained to me that she had really ordered the Paper to be sent to me. I naturally concluded that she had not

heeded my request. I have had a note from her since I wrote to you in which she says that if I do not receive the papers she cannot help it. I therefore feel very much vexed with myself for having accused her of negligence, and I trust that hence forth I shall be less hasty and shall possess my soul in patience. Oh—how far I am yet from the perfection of Christian kindness & forbearance bearing—hoping—forgiving all things. I strive hard to attain to it My dear patient forgiving kind friend. I hope I shall be able to send her a small box of prizes for them in a few weeks.

I have been so perplexed & unhappy today—having had my purse stolen out of my pocket at the Station! I had nearly Seven pounds in it. About two pounds of which I had with great difficulty collected for the slaves. And the rest I intended sending to my friends at home this week. Is it not mysterious, dear friend, that such things are permitted by One—who sees and knows the heart, and who saw my earnest desire

to do good with this money? I cannot understand it, and I know not what I am to learn by this for I do not see the use of the trial. Why should a pickpocket have the money for which I have toiled so hard?—And which was intended to comfort good & honest people—and to promote a good cause!—I did not sleep at night thinking of these things. The poor slaves shall not lose this help however. I mean to work most diligently to make up the loss. You know that we cannot have a Bazaar this year but I trust money will be collected and that you my dear friend will have a good share of it. May God provide abundantly for all your wants is my daily prayer Dear M^rs Carpenter has just lent me a paper with an interesting account of the Anti Slavery meeting in Halifax. God be praised that in some parts of England at least the hatred of Slavery is as deep as ever.

It is my lot to live in the midst of Aristocracy who do not seem to possess a spark of sympathy for the oppressed. A Lady an English wife & Mother

told me a few days ago that slavery was a good thing in itself only it was a pity that it was so abused! The little children around me who heard her were horrified at hearing their Aunt speak in favor of a thing of which they have heard me speak so differently, and simply asked if she would like to be a slave. She said something about being submissive to God's will &ct Oh how I long to be in the midst of those with whom I could once have freely converse on those subjects so dear & interesting to me!

The Polish insurrection is now the principal topic of the day in Europe. England France—and even Austria—sympathize with the Poles. God give them the victory! I have not time to read all the details of the struggle going on in Poland for your own, my dear friend, is still more deeply interesting to me. And when I can get hold of the daily paper it is to America that I devote the few moments I am allowed to peruse it—

that every now and then I feel as if I could overturn the whole world to make it as I wish to see it. I certainly am—in a peculiar manner exposed to its cruelty to the injustice and frauds—but there is no excuse for my lack of patience and submission to God's will

Dear Friend—Oh how I long to follow your own matchless example. And to become more worthy of your most highly prized friendship. I wonder why I need so many hard lessons and how long shall I expect such harsh discipline. I will tell you another time my mode of life here.