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[page] 10

Novemb; 18.

I have not walked with that sense ^of gods love
(this day) as sometimes my god freely
hath granted to mee; yet herein I
praise the lord, that I have lest
my hold, and confidencs, which his sy:
hath wrought; the lord hath also
comforted mee with many secret eia
culations, ad lest us my wofull flag=
ging heart, which to my sorrowfully
ness back, when by the wings of faith
ad love I would fly to my god of holines
oh when ^shall I com[] [ ] ad as years =
where sin shall be no more, nor sor
row no more; but I shall inbath
my selfe in the torrent of my
fathers love; and shall praise him
[ ]estly, whom I (though weakely)
desires to praise forever.

I said, my god, my god, why hast thou
forsaken me! / he had forsaken, yet he
was his god; / the lord this day hath
closed his ears; unwilling to heare mee;
yet in the garden of anguish, (temp
tations, unfowardnes; un[ ]nes in
the considerat; of the [ ] [ ]ises, ad
[ ], which often hand [ ]lted mee)
yea in the whales belly of corrupt
I will lye downe looking towards his [ ]

[page] 11

I was almost cast down (with Heman)
all this day; my strength seemed to
faile mee, but the lord faileth mee
never; I walked in darknes[ ], the for
mer [ ] of it; yet I thanke the lord
I [ ]led with my bodye of death,
ad the devell; ad the lord now in
prayer toward my lying downe hath
comforted mee, and given mee some
[ ]; upon this experience, I will
tempt him, yea call upon him as
long as I live.

[ ]moiling ocasions have made mee
unfit to pray; suppers, libertyes, com=
=pany lawfull all; yet I gave [ ] too
effuse in laughter (which my good father
hath often told mee of) ad lavish
on words I [ ] lord; say [ ] on
as once to David, thy sin is put away
Quin ad que (Domine) sum pars * aedifing
tui, tu tofum struxisti aedificium; a[ ]ti
tu cor meum (oh mirum) lapideum ter-
renum, et coniunxesti δωρεαν, id strvctv
rae tvae: fac Domine et exiberantia
hvius lapidis excindantvr senitvs, ne
sim dedecovi aedificio tvo.

* 2.Ephes:21

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