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Novemb; 18. 1634
I have not walked with that sense ^of gods love (this day) as sometimes my god freely hath granted to mee; yet herein I praise the lord, that I have lest my hold, and confidencs, which his sy: hath wrought; the lord hath also comforted mee with many secret eia culations, ad lest us my wofull flag= ging heart, which to my sorrowfully ness back, when by the wings of faith ad love I would fly to my god of holines oh when ^shall I com[] [ ] ad as years = where sin shall be no more, nor sor row no more; but I shall inbath my selfe in the torrent of my fathers love; and shall praise him [ ]estly, whom I (though weakely) desires to praise forever.
19. I said, my god, my god, why hast thou forsaken me! / he had forsaken, yet he was his god; / the lord this day hath closed his ears; unwilling to heare mee; yet in the garden of anguish, (temp tations, unfowardnes; un[ ]nes in the considerat; of the [ ] [ ]ises, ad [ ], which often hand [ ]lted mee) yea in the whales belly of corrupt I will lye downe looking towards his [ ]
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20. I was almost cast down (with Heman) all this day; my strength seemed to faile mee, but the lord faileth mee never; I walked in darknes[ ], the for mer [ ] of it; yet I thanke the lord I [ ]led with my bodye of death, ad the devell; ad the lord now in prayer toward my lying downe hath comforted mee, and given mee some [ ]; upon this experience, I will tempt him, yea call upon him as long as I live.
21. [ ]moiling ocasions have made mee unfit to pray; suppers, libertyes, com= =pany lawfull all; yet I gave [ ] too effuse in laughter (which my good father hath often told mee of) ad lavish on words I [ ] lord; say [ ] on as once to David, thy sin is put away Quin ad que (Domine) sum pars * aedifing tui, tu tofum struxisti aedificium; a[ ]ti tu cor meum (oh mirum) lapideum terrenum, et coniunxesti δωρεαν, id strvctv rae tvae: fac Domine et exiberantia hvius lapidis excindantvr senitvs, ne sim dedecovi aedificio tvo.
* 2.Ephes:21
