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THE ANONYMOUS
Vol. 1 Catch me if you Can No. 1
Farmers' High School Sept. 30th, 1859
| "Editorial" | is laid a crowbar (pryer) as |
|---|---|
| In presenting | emblematic of our vocation-- |
| this little sheet to the mem- | signifying that we intend to |
| bers of the W.A.L.S. we would | do our utmost to pry into the |
| wish them to know that our | mysterious cells of nonsense. |
| only object is to add interest | Our motto is "Catch me if you |
| to the Society. We have an | can" and if any one should be |
| "Anonymous Box" and it must be | fortunate enough to catch us |
| supplied with something. Our | he will please let us know of |
| columns will not be restricted | it. As to our proper address |
| to any particular subjects but | we would close by saying to |
| will merely perform the office | all persons who may wish it, |
| of a "Rake" in general and a | "Don't you wish you may get |
| very fine toothed one at that. | it." |
| We have chosen an open book | |
| (Yankee Nations) upon which |
Needs Review
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| “Painful” | since but it is hoped that he |
|---|---|
| We are very much | will recover. We have learned |
| pained to learn that not with- | that for several days his grief |
| standing the undivided atten- | and sorrow was so intense that |
| tion which our fellow student | he ate but two meals per day |
| Mr. H. of Mengle, alias “Berks”, | a like occurrence of which was |
| has for some time bestowed | never known to have happened |
| upon the Mises Lytle in gen- | before in his life. |
| eral and Jane in particular | Public Nuisances. |
| he has been wholly unsuccess- | Whately’s Rhetoric, Clarke’s |
| ful and on Sunday afternoon | Grammer, the throwing of water, |
| after having “Done” the hand- | Smith and his subscription |
| some in helping them over the | paper for the Arboretum, the |
| fences, he was ungraciously | old Dining Hall, the Ball |
| repulsed by them somewhere in | Alley, picking stones, our |
| the vicinity of Billy Foster’s | neighbors cows, the Democratic |
| barn and was forced to return | voters including Bully Bullock |
| home almost broken-hearted. | and our Huntingdon county Rep- |
| He has been very downcast | resentative Pussey. |
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| "Excruciating" | "Queries" |
|---|---|
| The following verse | Why is a certain student in the |
| is the heart rending burst of | Farm School like a person who |
| feeling of one of the Farm | delights in falsehood--Ans.-- |
| High School students C...... | Because he is attached to |
| who fell in love iwth the Pro- | Lytleing (Lie-telling). |
| fessors Hired Girl and was | Why is the Editor of the W.A.L.S. |
| cut out by another of the stu- | like frozen snow--Ans.--Because |
| dents W...; Hear him groan | he is rather crusty. |
| "Now if I could your hand dis- | Why is the fourth story the most |
| kiver, I vow I'd swim the | religious story of the School-- |
| Junia river; And, for to win | Ans.—Because it has A. Church |
| so fresh a bud, I'd wade up | in it. |
| to my neck in mud." | What is “Berks” most noted for |
| "Expectations" | Ans—His pious (pie-us) pro- |
| A duel between Messrs Clarke | pensities. |
| & Wox--a grand time at the | Why are the above conundrums |
| Fair in Boalsburg, the end of | like shawls from India--Ans-- |
| the session, the school soon | Because they are far-fetched. |
| to be rid of another fool in | |
| the person of A. J. Kaufman. |
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| "Wants" | "Unsteady" |
|---|---|
| Wanted – To know how those | H. B. R’s upper story on last |
| three students who camped out | Wednesday night. |
| in the Barrens last Sunday en- | “Found” |
| joyed the potatoes they stole | At the Farm School the original |
| from Mr. ________ potatoe field. | “Ike Partington”. Any person |
| Also - To know how many pies | wishing to see the animal will |
| it would take to fill “Old” | call at No. 69, admittance 5 |
| Berks.” | cents, so as to purchase him |
| Also - To know from the facul- | tabacco. |
| ty the latest information from | |
| the West. | “Diseases” |
| Also - To know how many feet | Consumption: Berks, Watson, |
| of gas Mr. J…. S. R…. could | Wox. |
| manufacture in 15 minutes. | Heart Disease: Murray & Van |
| Wanted, Another report like | Reed. |
| C. E. T……. had on Sept. 23rd. | Blind Staggers: J. H. Bryson. |
| Ridiculous | Hotheaded Chalfant, Banks & |
| The laughing propensities of | Wegley. |
| Smith; also L. C. T……’s | Strong in the feet: B. B. Peffer |
| attempts at cuteness. | Getting Lively |
| . | Cal. Sower’s Head |
Needs Review
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THE ANONYMOUS Vol. 1 Catch me if you Can No. 1 Farmer's High School Sept. 30th, 1859 "Editorial" In presenting this little sheet to the members of the W. A. L. S. we would wish them to know that our only object is to add interest to the Society. We have an "Anonymous Box" and it must be supplied with something. Our columns will not be restricted to any particular subjects but will merely perform the office of a "Rake" in general and a very fine toothed one at that. We have chosen an open book (Yankee Nations) upon which is laid a crowbar (pryer) as emblematic of our vocation-- signifying that we intend to do our utmost to pry into the mysterious cells of nonsense. Our motto is "Catch me if you can" and if any one should be fortunate enough to catch us he will please let us know of it. As to our proper address we would close by saying to all persons who may wish it, "Don't you wish you may get it."