Status: Complete

12th Again I am seated, dear sister, in the east-room, and hope to finish my communing with
thee, for I wish to despatch this as soon as practicable, knowing well that thou must feel very anxious to
hear from home. When not at liberty to pen my thoughts, much presents for communication but by the time
I have leisure to write, all seems to have left me, and I wait for the return of something interesting; but
wait I may - so I will in send thee such as I have, poor though it be.

Lorenzo Orvis has just returned from Peru, told us Rachel Barker attended Meeting twice, and
strange, very strange to tell, preached only once, and then only a few words, the recital of an incident
in some friend's journey, - the purport of it was that the friend stoppped at a house, but from his
impressions was convinced that the Lord was not in that place, and he must travel on: this had so
dwelt with her, that she felt it a duty to leave it with them, and they must use it as they chose:
Poor Rachel! she will find some hard things administered to her, if she visits Peru, much more. I fear
for many are dissatified with her, and Paulina Kuse eldered her pretty severely, Lorenzo said. R.
has been caressed quite too much for her advancement in the truth, in my opinion: her vision has been
dimmed by flattery and the following of the multitude. Oh! how needful for each of us to look well to our
own steps, and not have an eye to the movements of others: our own faithfulness can alone bring peace, and
remove all impurity from our spirits: As a society we have erred, I think, in having our eye upon others and
feeling that the eyes of others were upon us, when the consciousness that the Eye of Omniscience beheld
and judged our act and motive, should alone have influenced us in our conduct. I often desire entire
liberation from this thraldom of spirit, to become wholly free! We hear that D. Golden, D. and J.
Willets are to visit our Meetings this summer, cannot say how correct this is, do not covet the compa
of D. and Jacob, at all: think they could well be spared. By a round about connection of thought thi
reminds me to tell thee, that Benjamin Field has purchased A. Orvis's farm, and is to take up his
residence there this autumn: Whither A. will remove I know not: I regret their being obliged to leave such
a comfortable home: B. pays three thousand dollars for the farm, but this will not pay all A. debts.
Stephen Kuse is still living, suffers much and is at times very impatient, which is quite a trial to his
relatives: others at Peru are generally well: Oliver Kuse second has sustained a severe trial, in the sudden
death of his wife, about four weeks ago, - she was expecting to be confined ere long, has always at such
times had attacks, approaching very nearly to appoplexy, was taken on seventh-day evening and died
the second-day evening; spoke only once after the attack. But I must draw to a close for L. is waiting for
this; - we have not heard from Huldah, cannot account for her silence. We are all as well as usual
except myself, hope to be better in a day or two: do not like to send blank paper, so far, but must
or wait a day or two. On second thought, I will not send it to-day, for it can only travel to-morrow ere it will
have to lie by - to rest: so I shall after all, fill the sheet. We have not heard from C. and Gertrude in a long time
but I have not yet replied to their last; - indeed I have very little leisure for writing to any one now, wrote to
brother Charles, just after thou left, have not received an answer yet. Rowland went to visit our poor dea
Lucy who has removed back to Brooklyn; - he says she looks as though her heart was indeed broken, though she seemed
cheerful and sweet, but it was evident that a canker was at the root of her hopes, that her happiness was
blighted: he did not see Edward, but heard that he is doing poorly: very low salary too. which I fear will
scarely support his family. Oh! how much there is to make the heart sad, - if not for ourselves - for others.
Emma and hers are all well, and doing well as to the outward, and truly do I wish for them the acquistion
of spiritual wealth, - a treasure that cannot fail in time of need. As this is not to depart immediately, I
shall lay it aside again, for my mending, for this werk is not done: so farewell for to-day.

14th As I hope an opportunity will offer for the conveyance of this to the Office, I sit down to finish it:
we are all tolerably well this morning, though my back aches badly, so that I think it will be better for me to
remain at home: father intends going to meeting, - I went with him last First-day. He seems quite
pleasant of late, though not very sociable with me, - for this there is probably a cause, - soon after thy
departure, Mary appeared very agreeable and familiar, quite disposed to make her way into my arms if practicable,
but they were folded up and her freedom received with bare civility, - scarely that indeed, for how could I

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