p.

10

rather uneasy. during the few days up to Monday, I had
been thinking hard about whether to chance taking
Peter with me or not - & telling myself that I must
make a decision, because the news might come
suddenly & leave me little time to think, when he
was killed, I began to think that perhaps [Pete?] had
made the decision for me, & that I should leave
the M. E. with my heart & body & mind reaching out to
you & remember Peter as a little dog who had just
about saved my reason & certainly been my best friend
& companion this last year - & that at least, I need
not worry about him being well ooked after.
But now, I am beginning to feel very nervous about
failure, & being left here all by myself. But, the next
few days will show.

It is ghastly luck, isn't it, darling? Receiving your
letters, & writing to you, I was just able to hold on.
I could talk to Peter - you understand? - about
all my intimate things, about you [?]. And it is
not the same talking to myself. And he made me
laugh, which nothing & nobody else has done out here.
But do not worry about me, darling, if by the
time you get this, you have had word that my
2nd application has failed, you must not think of
my position as hopeless - because it can never be
that so long as you love me & wait for me to
come home. And I shall certainly not be
idle about getting myself home. I shall never
stop trying, by one means or another.

And in any case, sweetheart, I always remain in