Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Letter No 69 Tuesday Aug. 26th Major J.H. Massey 5th Palestinian Coy The Buffs M.E.F. My dear darling Barbara I have just finished manicuring my finger nails + I was looking at your sweet photographs while I was doing them - + wondering why I took the trouble to file + poke away for half an hour + why I didnt just cut them off with a pair of scissors + stop them getting too long in that way. It is quite obviously for you that I do it darling. But I do wish that we could see a little bit ahead & have some idea as to when we are going to be allowed to meet again. In spite of the utter boredom & hopelessness of life, time does seem to pass quickly by - the week-ends come & go with almost incredible regularity & rapidity- & in only six weeks time, we shall have been away from each other a whole year. This slippery passage of time would be a blessed thing if we had a date for which we were aiming - but without that, it is just sheer wastage of our lives together. Time which can never be made up & which can never be given back to us. My faith in the law of compensation must sustain me. I hope, you too. In the meantime, a very small straw appeared lasr week - to clasp at. Early in October, we have to make a return together with all other units, of everybody's civilian employment. And accuracy & care were stressed, because "the return will be used for demobilisation"! It means little enough, of course & at the same time we hear of preparations being made to continue the war into 1943 & onwards. But it is comforting in a way - perhaps shows that plans are being made for an early finish of the war, as well as for several more years of it. This march into Iran of the Russians & ourselves, was announced yesterday, & is encouraging news. That is

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now Iraq, Syria & Iran, & all in four months - Russia on our side & doing well - & the Americans in Iceland. You must admit it is all very interesting: encouraging too. And it indicates Churchill's ideas of not indulging in wholesale slaughter against strong lines of defence & probably gaining nothing - but biting off the easy bits & steadily improving our position. And in the meantime, the Navy & R.A.F. continue to blockade & bomb. And all the oversea countries begin to see more clearly into the future & do their part to harass & [harry?] the Nazis. How long can they stick it? I feel certain that the answer to that question is more important than - when are we going to invade France & Germany. I also have the feeling that the U.S.A. will not declare war unless it is absolutely necessary. American public opinion is so strong; & if she suffers large casualties in Europe or the M.D. she is going to have that revulsion of feeling, which she had after the last war, & isolate herself again from all affairs except her own. And that would be as much a tragedy again, as if was before. & her Navy is working for us now - probably more than we know or realise. Her army is only wanted if & when we use ours in a great invasion. And I doubt very much if we shall do that - except to walk over & occupy a Europe & Germany in particular, which has more or less given up - & in which public opinion & the public voice is at last more powerful than Hitler's tyranny.

I must admit that I am very much under

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the influence of Churchill's book, at the moment. But I doubt if he has changed his views so very much, & I'm quite certain that he deviates & controls our policies & methods.

In addition to America, how are Australia, New Zealnad, South Africa, Canada & India going to feel after the war, if they have all suffered enormous loss of life & limb. Patriotism & invigorism may keep them going during the war - but there will be bitterness afterwards when all is said & done. Ramsay MacDonald, Baldwin & Chamberlain were our exclusive products & our votes put them in power.

And where are we if we lose a million of our best men, probably more. An embittered nation will assist in imposing another Versailles - & a weak minded nation, without those million or more men, will then allow Germany to rise again, & next time, perhaps make no mistake. No - I have deep & boundless faith in Churchill & also the people with whom he has surrounded himself. I think he knows how to win this war, & I think he is looking a very long way ahead. So that we, if we have to be apart longer & wait longer for it, will have a better country & better world in which to live - & so will Max & any sisters or brothers he may have.

But the waiting is terribly difficult & painful, isn't it darling. Every time I think about you & look at your photographs, I almost cry out with sadness & pain. There is nothing else I want in all the world - & you are far away & I just cannot have you. It is cruel.

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It seems to me, my darling, that I tell you very often how I love you, how I miss you, & almost always in the same words - I hope it does not seem or sound like this to you. But, you know, I do not say these things because I think you want me to - I think & say them to myself so much, & only way I can say them to you is in a letter. So even if they do become monotonous, sweetheart, remember that they come from the very bottom of my heart. Perhaps, & I hope I am wrong to have doubts about my letters, because you have paid me very nice compliments about them up to now - or at least up to May - You have told me I do marvels - & that they are very interesting, loving - & well written. Thankyou darling one - I try very hard, because I know the pleasure & intense satisfaction which your letters give to me & I want so much for mine to do something of the same for you. But life is so dull & I find it increasingly difficult to be interesting - & so often when I sit down to write to you I go into such depths of misery, longing for you. Today, I look like writing this straight off & posting it in the morning. But normally, I think the better system, & I must try to do it more, is to begin another letter the same day that I post one to you & try to write some each day. By that means, I give myself the feeling of having had a talk with you each day, & also, odd things which I would write down the same day or the day after, when they are fresh

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in my mind, do not seem important or interesting enough if left a few days - or else they make me feel that I am making too much of a little thing, & you will think I am becoming silly & weak minded. I notice so often in your letters, that you write about some very ordinary & every day things, but you write in such a delightfully easy, free & amusing way, it gives me tremendous pleasure to read it. Nobody could possibly write better & more loevely letters than you do, & I can promise you my darling sweetheart, that nobody could possibly appreciate them more than I do. They arrive in my office, usually at about 10.30, & I read them at once; my pot of tea arrives at about the same time, & so I have a cigarette or two & settle down. I read it in my room again after lunch - then again in the evening with a whiskey & soda before dinner. So, on top of everything else, I make the most of them. And of course, for the next few days, I am in & out of there & writing back to you. My bundle of letters is quite a big one by now, it was pathetic in February, when I had two, & a few cables & your three letters to Oswestry & your [wire?] to Oswestry - & I used to read them again & again, wringing the last ounce & shred of meaning out of them. You must know the feeling too.

You know darling - I feel now that when we were together I did not tell you enough that I loved you or how or how much I loved you, & how sweet & beautiful & lovely & gorgeous & wonderful you were, & how pretty & clever & funny & amusing & interesting & kind & how smart & attractive & seductive, & how you feel & how you smell - & all the