Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Letter No. 9. Tuesday - April 28th. Major J.H. Massey. 6. Palestine Coy. The Buffs M.E.F.

My own very darling Barbara -

I wrote this beginning to this letter more than half an hour ago. & since then I have been sitting here & wondering what to write to you about - & during that time I have been gazing at your photographs on my table & in my album. & darling, you are very beautiful & pretty & marvellously lovely. And I am so fortunate that you love me, & that you write to me & that I am able to write to you.

I love & cherish every part of you, my sweetheart, just as much as I long for all of you & every part of you. Do you mind if I tell you about yourself again - it is the only way I have of making love now, & I hope I may make you a little bit happy too. And I don't really believe that the censor ever reads these letters. I love your hair so much & it is so long & brown & soft & strong - & really whatever you do to it & in whatever way you have it done, you always have it long on both sides of your face. & with an emphasis on your left side, which is so very much you. Your eyes are incomparable, my lovely pet. they are so expressive & they can look at me so gorgeously - & they are so intelligent & they can look at me with such spirit. Your mouth & all its expressions are so perfect & so very pretty - & to kiss you is pure joy & heaven & you know that I have proved that by my appetite for your kisses: your

2.

mouth is soft & tender, & when it opens it is moist & luscious - even more soft & tender, & there is your sweet tongue which plays with mine & sets me on fire & makes passion an urgent thing. Sometimes, you remember, your mouth & your tongue & your adorable & wonderful kisses & just my love for you, have made my passion even over before you were ready. I felt so ashamed of myself & cross with myself & sorry for you - but these surges of love & passion were so deep & real, & I almost have them here, 2000 miles away, my wonderful sweetheart. And darling one, your whole face has an expression & a look & a kind of a lilt, which I think so perfect & attractive & beautiful, & which is so completely yours. I have tried to tell you before - that it is especially to be noticed when you meet me somewhere, & I am waiting for you - & you look pleased to see me & as though you have been looking forward to seeing me as you walked along. It is wonderful & has made me so happy & will make me happy again. And you are so exactly the right size & shape - & you walk so well & move so well; your legs are firm & straight & soft & they look so soft - & you have a waist & a bosom & a bottom & you hold your head up - your hands are shapely & pretty & capable.

And darling, when you have nothing on, you're so wonderfully smooth & soft - your skin is so fine, & to hold you in my arms & against

3.

my body - to feel you with my hands - I can hardly write this down, I long for you so much. Every part of you is as something special to me. Your arms & your back are a wonderful shape, & your arms are so especially dear to me because they go round me & hold me to you & make me happy because you love. Your breasts, both together & each one separately, in between them, & their big healthy nipples - you know how I love your breasts, my darling. Sometimes, when I have taken them into my mouth, it has made me sad because of Lisa, & that has made me annoyed with myself for not having more feeling - but perhaps Maxie will have taken away that feeling which I gave you - I love them so much. And darling, your puss is so adorable & lovely to me - it is so soft & so smooth & so joyful - & at the top of each of your legs, there is that little roll of fat which I find so lovely to hold in my fingers & at each side it is so soft & velvety & so perfect to kiss. And darling, it is lovely, in the morning to put myself in between the cheeks of your bottom & wake you up that way, so that you wake up feeling passionate & we make love & then I leave you, so [?], & you sleep on longer than you should do - but not really asleep, because you give me such a lovely kiss & hug when I say goodbye & go to work

Oh darling one - I love you madly & passionately &

4.

with all of my body & soul. I think about you so much - & I am just working & writing & reading & waiting for the day when our life can begin again. I salute you & kiss you, my beautiful Barbar, on every available inch of your adorable body, please. You are a wonder, my darling - & I long for & picture you & I, walking through London holding hands - having a drink somewhere & talking to eachother - & then being somewhere were we can make love & be together.

But I must write about something else - though I am glad I have written about this, & I hope you are not sorry. Will you tell me? But I have been feeling so wooden & sexless these last weeks, & tonight I feel very much of flesh & blood.

I seem to have been writing rather a lot recently about our life after the war. From the points of view of the Assn & our probable political activities - but I have said nothing about your main interest of art. There is really not very much that I can say as things are so uncertain & all discussion is so theoretical. But I do not want you to think that I am only thinking of myself because that is not true. It is, I suppose, fairly obvious that in the first place I return to the Assn & I suppose that will mean to Wm. North & Co. [?] - having first of all wrung out of Peter as long a holiday as possible. And then we shall have to begin to think.

Wednesday, 29th Apr. I stopped last night because I wanted to go to bed - & also because it was difficult to go on - & also because if I do go on, I want to go on carefully

5.

& thoughtfully, & not late at night. It is really a very complicated & difficult matter to write about, because I do not know exactly what you are thinking, & so I am always liable to come back to talking about myself, which is not a bad idea in one way, because if you know what I am thinking, it is then easier for you to work things out. So you must forgive me if I set out to talk about you & finish up by talking about myself - but I will do my best. You have always said, & you have said it again in your letters, that you are determined to become a good sculptor (are you not that already?) & a famous sculptor. And to do that, you cannot be buried somewhere in Yorkshire. London is the only place in England where there are other artists from whom you can receive stimulation, & who are competent to judge your work - & where there are shows for you to exhibit your work. Now, I like to think that the one thing which is more important than your art, is me - & Maxie & perhaps another baby - & I think that that is true. But it is going to be a very great pity if, because of me & Maxie, your art has to suffer, which also means you, & possibly all art loving people. But there are now some new imponderables & factors. before the were we were tied down to Bradford, because there was my work, & I considered myself interested in it, & it was our livelihood, & I could not think beyond that, unless by some chance a job as good or better should offer itself in London. And you were understanding