Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

11.

I have bought another dog. I was quite sure, when Peter was killed, that I would not have another dog out here. But I found myself so lonely, & also much too inclined to waste time, sitting in th Mess, talking to Ben & Kalk - instead of coming to my room & writing or reading. But I found my room so miserable all by myself, after I had been so used to Peter sitting beside me, & who I could talk to, about you, & how sweeet you are, & how much I love you, & about Max, & about how awful everything is, & will I get a letter tomorrow, & so many things. And he was always here to welcome me & be pleased to see me. And one recovers from the loss of a dog - though I resented & was heart broken by the violence & suddeness of Peter's death, when he was such a pleasure & such a comfort to me & had been with me so much of my time out here. Anyway I saw an advertisement in the paper for fox terrier puppies, & I suddenly decided that I had now recovered about Peter, - I must go & look at these. I knew there were no more [Selvangers?] in Palestine - & they do not have pleasant mongrels out here. I found two brothers, 7 weeks old, & very good & healthy, & L7 each. So I argued hard & swallowed hard - & bought the one I liked best. I hope you wont think me extravagant, because it isn't really, & he will probably even save money for me, because his upkeep costs nothing at all, & I am now much happier to stay & do not feel so urgently anxious to get out of this place for an evening. But, quite apart from the profit & loss of the deal, he is worth the money for the pleasure he gives me. He is

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rough haired, & black, & a little brown, & white & very playful & affectionate - & I think he shows signs of developing into a tough & independent character like Peter. I have called him Toby - which sounds rather lacking in imagination - but the very first dog I remember at home was a foxie called Toby, who arrived when I was 4, & we put him away when I was 18. But I hope to leave the little sod before he is many months old - & have arranged dto give him to Ben in exchange for a very love Persion hand engraved silver cigarette case which he bought some weeks ago - which I wanted to bring home for you anyway; it is a beautiful piece of work.

Your no 87 came today - & as your last one was also 87, I have marked this 87b. You were answering my letter about Gergel - & you made some very sensible & intelligent remarks about discipline & training & the way the war is going - I was very interested.

You asked about the possibilities of you & Max coming out here if my 2nd application failed. But it is impossible darling - & I would not risk it anyway. There are too many additional potential dangers which could happen just at the worst moment, quite apart from the normal ones. I'm afraid our hopes must remain pinned on my 3rd application & interview, & the end of the war - or a change in the situation. It is a bleak & wretched prospect I know - but the future may hold pleasant surprises for us & which we cannot know about. In any case, I think you know that I am paying attention to the situation the whole time, & if & when, it alters, or an opportunity shows itself, I

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shall immediately be doing something about it.

Sweetheart darling, you said in your letter that you were afraid about how I would have the ravages, as you put it, to your figure, & how you want to be beautiful for me, & you say your bosom is thinner & your tum wrinkled. Barbara my love, what I wrote on Tuesday I wrokte before your letter came - & whatever you say, I do not take a word of it back. You probably exaggerate anyway - & even if you don't, when I come home, & there is plenty of food & good food again, I will make you so happy & joyful & contented, that your bosom will become big & splended & gorgeous, & your tum will become a tum & the wrinkles will disappear. And if that does not happen either - you still need have no worries my darling. It is a shame as you say, that babies must leave their mark - but you must not think that I could ever love or admire you any less, because of that. I love you & I am in love with you - & I have a very special & personal feeling for your body. My sweetest - there is something spiritual about my feelings too - & you are glorious & heavently excitement to me & you always will be. I wish I had told you more about it before & when I was at home - but I shall never fail in that way again. One of the penalties of faithfulness can be a complacent husband & one who never appreciates you or pays you compliments. I promise you that you will

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never be penalised in that way. I love & adore & admire you, & without any reservations - & I shall tell you & tell you again, & if you tell me to stop I will not stop - & if you are cross I will kiss you - & if you are still cross - or even if you are not - I shall pick you up & put you on our big new sofa, or carry you up to bed, & take off none or some or all of your clothes - & hold you & love you. I love you darling - with my mind & heart & my eyes & my body. You are beautiful to me & you always have been & always will be - & apart from me, you are beautiful. And you have so much more, as well as beauty - interest & intelligence & charm & attraction & manners & technique & allurement - & you have a complete spell over me. Darling, I love you very much.

Goodnight my angel. Write to me as much as you can please - & tell me all you can about yourself - how you love me, & what we are going to do when I come home.

Love to Maxie & a big kiss for him. And so much love to you, my lovely sweetheart. Kisses & kisses, everywhere

Your own Harry

And I am NOT idealising you, Mrs Barbara Wharton Massey

[postmark] FIELD POST OFFICE 3 MY 42 154

[written] 9

Mrs Barbara Massey. c/o Mrs. Jenkins c/o Mrs Paul 6 Bulstrode Gardens Lynwood Maddingley Road Candlemas Lane. Cambridge. Beaconsfield. Bucks.

[stamped] PASSED BY CENSOR No. 514

[page turned] JH Massey