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Letter No. 37 Sunday 27 Apr 41

Major J.H.Massey
6 Palestinian Coy. The Buffs,
Middle East Forces.

My darling sweet Barbara, I'm becoming so anxious to hear some
news about you & the baby. I was really thinking that it
would be born after eight months, but there has been no
mention of that in your recent letters, & one of your post
cards this week said there did not seem to be any hope of
anything happening early. I'm thinking of you all the time,
sweetheart, and I find it quite difficult to write about normal things.
It's so difficult to write about, darling - because I do not know
when the birth is going to be, nor do I know when this
letter is going to arrive - it's sure to be after the baby, & so I
feel that I want to say things about it, & that you will want
me to. But it's quite impossible, isn't it? I would give anything
or do anything to be with you. You will be so sweet, & though
you will get on alright without me, I know you would
like me to be there, & near at hand. I never expected
this to happen to us. One sees so many films and so on, of
husbands going off to the wars, and leaving pregnant wives at
home, but one looks on in only a detached sort of way. It
has been the same with more sorrowful things which have
happened to us.

But this is occupying all my thoughts just now, and I shall think
of nothing else at all, until I hear your news. So, darling, if
I do not say much in my next few letters, It is only because
I do not know what to say. But it makes me feel very
desperate when I think of you, my sweetest and almost more