Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Polish writer, & the Polish counterpart of Tolstoy. And another great writer is said to be Elhia [Ilya] Ehrenburg, a Russian Jew who was thrown out by Stalin, but is now an official Russian war correspondent. The other enclosure with this letter is the last paragraph of my reply to a questionnaire about "Current Affairs" & to which all C.O.s had to reply. I told you about these publications in a previous letter. I am quite certain that you will agree with what I have written here. But I expect I am only wasting my time, because the high ups will never read it, & if they do, will say "Balsly" & forget about it. Or perhaps I shall be watched now by the intelligence & security people to see if I am a subversive influence. But I must say that the scheme is very disappointing as it is working out. There is no sign of an attempt to face facts, or give assurances about war repetition of past mistakes & blunders, or to [ ?] every propaganda or to answer or satisfy criticism from our friends & allies. I feel tolerably certain that the idea has sprung from the example set by the Chinese & Russians - & that if Chiang-Kai-Shek or Stalin could see our efforts, they would think them pretty pitiful. Your p.c. of Feb 14th came yesterday & told me about my [B.C.& W. ?] allowance being cut to quarter instead of half - & further heavy blows from Gordon about the income tax. I think it is a bit of a dirty one on the part of the Assn, as I am the one & only manager who is serving - but they have been fairly decent about commission & banns, & we will be thankful for what we have had. When you look into it, the reduction from 1/2 to 1/4,

is not just as drastic as it seems to be on first sight. Instead of getting #320, we shall now have #160. As our total income is in excess of all the allowances, that part of it is subject to the standard rate of tax, which is 10 [% ?] in the #. So our actual reduction in hard cash is more in the region of #80. And I have been thinking what I can do to reduce my expenses & so make this reduction not mean so much to us. Firstly, I can save about 10f a week on cigarettes - up to now, I have been buying Players always, & never using my rations, which I give to Chaimalzcki. I shall now smoke the issue ones. And I always have a Gin & Vermouth before dinner, which means 7 a week - in future, I will have orange juice, which costs nothing & will be very much better for me. And, I shall stop by infrequent but expensive evenings in Tel-Aviv, which I never really enjoy anyway. So don't be downhearted, darling. We have already saved quite a bit for after the war, & we are still prosperous enough to go on saving a bit more. It is really very fortunate that we are both thrifty, & both look forward to having some money to start up with when I come home - both feel that money spent together is the only way of spending our money. If we were both a bit gay & extravagant, we should be in quite a mess. And if one of us was telling it fly a bit, somebody would be feeling a bit peeved with somebody. As for the income tax, I really am unable to work it out myself. I only have a few of the Bank sheets from you - & it is difficult to follow what deductions have been made at source. And I cannot tell

just when these commissions have arrived & which year they are in. The Army Pay office seem to take off #3-2-6 a month, which is not very much. I am quite sure that Gordon is watching everything for us - & one of these days I shall be able to check up. Cheer up, darling one - our total income is still #76 a month, of which #23 are allowances, & so free of tax. The income tax is a hell of a figure, but it has to be paid for this ruddy war. & so we just have to face it. Thank God I am a major - it would be a bit difficult otherwise. Your descriptions of stories about Max are awfully interesting & thrilling. I have quite overcome my first regrets about him not being a girl, & I am dying & [ ?] to see him, & I feel a great deal of love for him already. It is quite obvious that he is good looking & strong little chap, & that he is intelligent & interesting & has a sense of humour. You produce the most lovely babies, my darling - & then you have a wonderful gift & sense for bringing them up. As you said in a letter, Lisa's dear & sweet character was her own - but I still believe that your influence & feeling for her made it possible. And it will be the same with Max. I like to think that I am a greatly improved person in the last seven years, & that I am still improving. You are a wonderful mother, my sweetheart - & a glorious wife. You told me about your Vyella [Viyella] nightdresses, & wondered what my reaction would be. I think it is a jolly good idea. I know, from my pyjamas, that they make

a tremendous difference to one's warmth & comfort in bed. So you remember? - you bought mine for me in Chester, & how excited Lisa was about them - it was the very week she died, the little darling. Oh, if only we could have her back. As you have said, my angel, that is a pain which will never, never leave us. Vyella make very pretty printed materials - those Clydella nighties Lisa had, were sweet. And I can imagine you looking & being very sweet & alluring in just such nighties. You told me darling that your figure has hardly suffered at all - & it is lovely to hear that. And about the wrinkles on your tum, do not worry about those. I will give you some expert oil massages on your tum & we can see if we can send them away by such methods. Gradually we can - & if not, I shall get very passionate giving you the [ ?] - & so it will be worth it anyway. It is now the spring in Palestine, where March is said to be the best month. And it certainly is very lovely weather. The rains are just about over, though there will probably be a little more. The days are sunny & just warm - at night it is not cold. The sun is up at about 6-30, & sets at about the same time in the evening. The early mornings & evenings are simply lovely, & the sunrises & sunsets are glorious & splendid. The birds are very active, & especially in the moss in my room. A number have made the place their home - I think the

they would become completely tame, if allowed to do so - but they chatter so much, & shit over everything, & get in among the food - & so I spend my time shoving them & clapping my hands. The country is green now, & there is a smell of lemon & orange in the air. But in a few weeks time, it will all be brown & arid again. The English countryside must surely be unequalled anywhere - & how I long for it now - you & Maxie. I am getting so worried about this application of mine. Last time, the negative reply came [after underlined] the boat had sailed, - & now it is getting very near the time again. I must admit that I was hoping - our case seems to me so very strong. And I am beginning to feel that one needs influence, & I do not know where I can find it. If it is any comfort to you at all, my darling - you must please know that I long and pine for you all the time, for Maxie too. We have only to be together again to be perfectly & completely happy & content. We [have underlined] so much to look forward to. If only the machine would arrange to put the three of us down somewhere, together. A big kiss & squeeze to Maxie - & all my love to you from the bottom of my heart, & passionate loving adoring kisses & embraces. Your own Harry