Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Letter No. 2. a Penguin special In Port Saturday 19 Oct

Sweetest darling, I am now beginning another letter to you & expect to be able to post this one in about two weeks time when posted it will be very much further away than the one posted here, & so I suppose will take longer to get to you. You will notice that I have numbered this letter, & I will go on doing this, so that you will know that all my letters are getting to you - or not. When you write after getting this one, will you tell me how many you have written - & then start numbering yours.

My last letter had to be handed in at midday on Thursday, which seems rather pointless, as we did not arrive here until yesterda - & we are still here. Perhaps & with a little luck, I shall be able to post this before we leave; so if this letter ends rather abruptly, you will understand that that is the reason. Otherwise it will trail off along like the other one for a couple of weeks - so I had better start where I left off.

Sunday. 20 Oct. I did not get very far with this yesterday & this morning we left this place. There was no opportunity of going ashore or posting any more letters. Our officer went on shore to cash cheques for people - & a few managed

2. to persuade him to send cables off for them which is a little annoying, because a notice had been put up saying no cables could be sent except under conditions of urgency but these people had been having a drink with the man just before he went ashore. Eric James was one of them - & he thinks that his wife will let you know, so I hope she does. The officer was the famous officer in the Tower - Major Wintle. He is a priceless character, with his monocle, jodphurs & toupee. But he is a very vigorous & incisive man, & also very daunting. Rex & I were having a drink with him the other day: he was very worried because, as Welfare Officer, a soldier had been to him & askedhim to marry him by proxy, as he had put his girl friend in the family way & only found out a day or two before leaving England. Wintle said he didn't know what he should do, but he supposed he would give him a bloody certificate & be back in the f----- Tower before he knew where he was.

3. I find great difficulty, darling, in finding a suitable time & place to write. I started this yesterday on deck at about 4.30: but it was so hot & so sticky, & there are no tables, that I decided not to try this again. I then decided that the best time would be in the lounge, after lunch whichwhen the deck is at its hottest - so there I went today - but it was so hot that my hand was soaked in sweat & would not move over the paper - & my face dripped onto it, so I gave that up & went up on deck to read. Later.

I then went down to the cabin at 5-30 this being a comparatively cool part of the day, & propped myselfup with pillows & blankets, & settled down again. But at 5-40 I remembered that the water is turned off at 6 - so I stopped again & arose to have a wash & a bath - & now it is 6-45 & dinner is at 7-30. I am up in the lounge again - & it is reasonably cool. So God knows what the ideal time or place is going to be. Before I continue with the news & events of our voyage & stop in port - there is

4. much to tell you - I must tell you again sweetheart, how much I miss you, my lovely beloved darling wife. I think about you incessantly, & what you are doing & where you are, & how much I love you, & how happy we have been together, & what glorious heavenly times we have had together, & whether you are being very unhappy about Lisa , & about all the happy times we had with her, & when we shall have another baby, & where we shall ^^live & what we shall do after the war, & how sweet you are to loveme so much, & how fortunate I am & everything about you darling. It all makes me feel very sad & completely helpless, but still I think I am very much better off than if I had not got you to think of. Which reminds me, darling, how, when Lisa died, we said, rather hopelessley, that it was better to have had her for three & a quarter years, than not to have had her at all. I feel that very much more today than I did then. And I am sure you do too. In spite of the terrible sadness

5. which we feel, & even though we miss her so much, & you must miss her more than I do - we do get a tremendous amount out of her memory. Often I feel really happy in the memory of how much I loved her, & often too, when I am alone, I find myself smiling & laughing about the things she did & said. Please don't be too unhappy about her, darling. I must go to dinner now - & I will contine this after, or tomorrow. Sweetheart - I do love you very much.

Monday - Oct 21 It was too hot & smoky & crowded & noisy, to continue last night - so I played bridge, though I felt like going on with this letter. It is now after lunch in the lounge & a bit cooler & I have planted myself in a draught by the a window - so now I must get on with the news bulletin, while things are fresh in my mind. Since I finished the last letter the