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Letter No. 34 Sunday - 20 Apr 41 Major J.H.Massey,
6 Palestinian Coy, The Buffs
Middle East Forces

My darlng Barbara - It is three o'clock in
the afternoon, and unless I can help it, I have no intention of
doing any more work today. There is only one thing I want
to do, and that is to write to you - but by God, I do feel flat.
I feel like a vegetable, a sone in the ground and a piece
of wood, all rolled into one. And although I am quite certain
I have dozens of things about which I write you, it
seems difficult to get going, because my mood is all wrong.
Its so much more enjoyable writing to you, when the words
bubble from my pen, and the only reason I stop writing is
because it is time to go to bed, or to catch the post -
and almost certainly you will appreciate these letter more,
too. But I expect, after I have written a page or two,
I shall get into a swing again, and be able to go on,
with pauses, until midnight.

This dreadful flatness, is caused of course, because your
letters have stopped arriving, entirely apart from just hearing
from you in the ordinary way, there are so many
special things about which I thirst and pine for news.
It is so hopelessly niserable, not knowing how you are, and
what your latest plans are about the baby, and where you
are going to live afterwards, and who is going to be with you.
We have both been disappointed, by receiving 2 or 3 letters, and
being let to believe that "now everything is alright" -
then there has been a complete dry up and nothing has
come along for weeks. A month ago, your letters werer
coming along splendidly, and I had arrived athe point of
bexpecting one every 3 - 4 days. But now, there is a complete