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Letter No 96 Sunday 1 Feb 42
Major J. H. Massey
6 Palestinian Corp, The Buffs
M.E.F.
My dearest darling - You are very
sweet in your letters, to be sorry for me & to sympathise
with my fate, & to admit that my lot must be worse
than yours, & that I must be more lonely & miserable
than you are. And I really must agree. Before Maxie was
born, your condition was incomparably worse than mine
was or could ever be. Never, as long as I live, shall I forget
those eight months through which you had to go - & I do
not suppose you ever will either. But now, you have our
Maxie, & relations & your friends. And really I have
nothing, darling - completely nothing. God knows how much longer
I can stick it, or how much longer I shall be expected to
stick it. I feel like screaming, now, this very minute, & banging
my fists & even my head, on the wall. But I must be
calm & realise that that would not help at all.
I must give you a picture of how things are - & then I will
wait 3 months, at the very least, to get your sympathy in return
- isn't it really [awful underlined], darling?
Before I can really tell you about things - I must first of
all, tell you about my officer position, which has undergone
quite a considerable change during the last week.
With the departure of Salaman & Headley, my establishment of
officers becomes 7 instead of 8 - the British subaltern
not being replaced. I was therefore due one more
subaltern & this I duly received from another corp. But
they did me rather a dirty one by sending an attached
officer, he having been passed to aanother corp which is
as yet only half formed. His name is Levoutin, & he
is 21 years of age & knows nothing at all. He is
rather podgy & unathletic & bespeckled - but seems rather
a pleasant young man, & I think he will be
alright. The other thing is that I have got rid