p.

[text top left] Letter No 11 Saturday May 9th
[text top right] Major J. H. Massey
6, Palestinian [Coy?], The Ruffs
[?] E. F.

My own darling sweetheart
I posted a six page letter to
you this morning & rather a sort of newsy & not very loving
one, & so I must hurry up and get moving again at
once. I am always afraid that such a letter may arrive at
the end of one of those awful gaps, & you will be
disappointed. But you know as well as I do how difficult
it is to write when you are not feeling in the mood,
& there is nothing very particular about which to write.
And when a letter of mine is not loving, it is far from
meaning that I am not thinking about you in a
loving way - but I have to feel in some sort of good
spirits or feel some urge; being depressed & feeling
hopeless is not the right feeling at all.

I told you about my time with this [Coy?] coming to an end on
August 1st. I saw Col. G. this morning & spoke to him
about it, & he said that I could stay on if I wanted to -
so the ruling does not sound to be a very rigis one. But
I told him that I thought a year & a half was about
enough - but that I was pretty well ruined as a fighting
officer after all this & having left the 5th before I was
fully trained. i told him that he should get me a
staff job or promotion or both, & he just smiled & said
he would do what he could. I hate this standard
regular army outlook that only regular officers can do
these jobs. If I was half as bloody brainless & useless
as so many of these people. I [???] you most
certainly would never have married me. Well, we
shall see, & in the meantime do not worry about me
darling. I will get something arranged for myself