Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Capt J. H. Massey Palastine Recruit Training Depo Middle East Forces Tuesday Jan 14th

[Box drawn in top left corner] Letter no. 14 no 13 has not been written. It seems unwise to take any chances nowadays. At least - not until I begin having letters from you. [End of box in top left corner]

[Text at side of box] This address will almost certainly be out of date when you get this letter. But if I have not changed it by cable it will still be good enough.

P.S. How do you like the enclosure? I think they are both bloody.

My darling one - I have now been here for a week, & this is the first time I have written to you. I'm sorry - but I do wonder whether it matters or not. Either that one will reach you before any of my others do - or else you will have it about next June - or else it just will not arrive at all. But no - I hope that the post to you will be better, & that you willhave had most of my letters already. But it is too much, isn't it darling? Getting on for four months since I left you - & now two months in the Middle East, & no letters at ll, & one little cable, and all kinds of people here, who certainly do not behave as though they were married, & write home a page or two every week or two, & who hardly bothered to send any address, & probably or certainly, don't really mind much whether they hear or not - & they are getting cables & letters all the time. And you & I, who took so much care & so many precautions, & probably want to hear from each other far more than any other two people - & I at least am thrown up high & dry. I'm afraid this continues to occupy my whole thoughts & all the time. Egypt was an unhappy country for me - I hope Palestine will be more kind. I sent off a cable as soon as I arrived here - but I sent it to my mother. I feel your Ma must have left Stanmore, & I have had no luck so far with Betty's address at Radlett, & it makes me think that she must have left there & gone up to join Claude. If both these things are so, I do hope my letters & parcels will have & will reach you. I shall continue writing this for two or three days, in the hope of hearing from you, & so knowing where to send it to. How are you, my sweetheart? I think about you so constantly & continuously - & I want to know this, so desperately, & wht you are doing & where you are. The last few days, I have

2. felt so very depresssed, & so hopelessley miserable, that it has been almost too much to endure, & I have not known where to put myself. And I have felt too, that you have been going through the same torture. Had I known where you were, I should have cabled you one day last week, & told you to be brave - which you already are, my dearest - & look forward to a future not too far away. I just felt as though I could not go on any more, & I felt that you were feeling the same at the same time - & I wanted to send something to you & encourage you. But I hadn't the heart to send it, not knowing where you were. It is getting so near to the time when we lost Lisa. And all the photographs I have of her are so healthy & happy & exuberant & full of life, & sweet & charming, intellingent - & so much as we knew her & expected herto go on & to develop. It has been so cruel & unfair, my darling, and you had so much to endure - that awful Bradford - & away from your family & friends - & me slogging away at the works. And Lisa was the one person who made it all possible for you. and then I had to go away into the Army - & the loss of the boy - you poor sweet darling - & now me coming out here. And Lisa would have gone on making it all possible for you she would have done more thant hat. I feel her so accutely & desperately, because of the sweet soul herself - & because of how much you must be missing her. And yet, as we have always said - it is so much better to have had her for those years & to have had her at all. But I cannot understand why this had to happen to us - to you - you were so good & sweet with her & looked after her so well. And, quite apart from us, why it should happen to Lisa herself - she was so lovely & perfect in every way, & gave so much happiness to other people - everyone she met & came in contact with. And she was so fond & in love with both of us - wasn't she darling! You two were just as one - & she was so

3. sweet to me, & we used to be so happy & friendly together, always & at the times when we were away, & we used to go off together to Harrogate & Collingham. and she used to want & wait for me to do things for her - & that used to make me so pleased & happy - & it did ou too, that we were all so close. We had such a wonderful future. And we must make it again, & we will make it again. Please believe that darling, with me. If you love me anywhere near as much as I love & worship you now - we can have a wonderful life together. I know that darling - & I hope you know it too - even without me having to say it. And we shall never forget Lisa. It is not necessary to say that, but I wanted to. Her memory becomes moer vivid & poignant & detailed to me, the more the time passes. Let us hope & pry, my darling, that this last year will have been our unhappiest year - & that from february onwards, - with our birthdays, we shall be able to begin to think & see ahead again, & how the end of the wary may come in sight, & our being together again, that we will be together again. Your new photograph is a very great comfort to me, darling Barbara. You look straight at me, & your expression & smile are so kind & lovely & understanding & soft. Whether I go into my room feeling good or bad, or happy - comparatively & in a way - or sad & dejected, your picture has always the right expression & comforts me & makes me relax. I am very thankful for it. This job here is a Godsend - & I must begin to tell you about it. The great thing at the moment is, that it keeps me

4. Wednesday, Jan 15th My Company is entirely Jewish, & they are an amazing crowd - Palestinian 0 German - Schecko - Slovakian Russian - Polish - Rumanian - they are of all ages & shapes & sizes - & they are labourers, mechanics, doctors, dentists, schoolmasters, university students, clerks, farmers, & all sorts of other things. I have not been able to get to know them very much yet, of course as up to now I have been kept very busy on administration & office work - but they should be very interesting. As you see, I have became a Captain, & that is very satisfactory in a way - except that I would so much rather be a 2nd Lieut again & at home with you. At the moment, I am commanding the company, but it is not all certain that I shall continue to do when the initial training period is finished, early in february, we leave here & become a self supporting & independent company on our own. These companies are much bigger than one at home, & when they go out from here, are commanded by a Major. So either, a Majory will be imported, or I shall become one. I shall be very annoyed if I do not - the rank does not worry me one bit, except that the pay is much better - but I do want to command & not be under somebody else. I am perfectly capable of doing the job, & can almost certainly do it very much better than anybody they are likely to send. I told the Colonel here, that I wanted the company for myself, & of course hehad to say that it took him 18 years to become a Major but I am hoping, & should know in a week or so. I shall have some British officers with me, & some Jewish, a British sergean majory & some ^^British sergeants - & the rest of the N.C.O's Jewish. My sergeant major is a grand chap, from the Black Watch, & very Scotch, & absolute mustard. When he has them on the square, one would think he was going to burst into flames. We get on very well together. This whole place is an enormous depot, & contains many more units than the P.R.T.D. It is a hutted camp, & looks very

5. much like Oswestry - except that there are, in addition, a large number of wooden bungalows, which in peace time were used for married quarters. I sleep in one of these. The mess is quite pleasant, but the majority of the inmates are shocking & the noise at meals of smacking lips & sucking of soup is like a sergeants mess. About the only man I like at all is a little Jew officer, called Ben Arzi: his family & wife live in Tel Aviv, which is quite near, & I am going there with him tomorrow evening. I think there is a concert, which I hope to go to. And also there is an exhibition there of mans sculpture - I forget his name, I just read it in the paper - & I shall go there; & I want to meet the man too, & talk to him about you - & try not to be too ignorant. Ben Arzi also tells me that there is, in Tel-Aviv, a woman sculptor from Berlin, & that she is very famous - & I am going to try & meet her too. About myself darling - I am very well & fit & healthy, as usual. I sometimes wish i wasn't, but I'm glad really, of course because I want to return to you as I left you. My measurements are all exactly the same - my hair still seems to be going more grey, but this does not show so much during the day, on account of the grease. The blemish on my nose has now been defeated, & cannot be seen. And clackers are not yet a possibility! I was very lucky about my teeth, at the I.B.D. Frank went to the dentist, to have his clackers, lost on the voyage, replaced - & reported that the dentist was very good. So I went along for a look over, & found he was a fine little man, & knew Smith very well. One old filling had came away & he replaced this, & there was nothing else to do. He gave me a good scrape round & polish, & told me my gums were in fine order. So that's me - & I aseem to be holding together alright. I was more than pleased & releaved to get away from the I.B.D. I had no real workk to do at all, & no responsibility - & then the place seemed to have a hoodoo