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Letter No 81
Wednesday - Nov 5th
Major J.H. Massey 6 Palestinian Coy, The Buffs M.E.F.
My darling own Barbara
It is 11.0 o'clock. I am going to bed very soon. I have been working all evening on instructions & orders for a long march & scheme & night out, which I am talking 1/2 the coy tomorrow - postponed from last week; & I have to be up bright & early in the morning for an early start. But I posted off, this morning, a rather dull & dreary, & I'm afraid very short letter & so I want to at least make a start with my next one & try to make amends. There was still no letter or anything from you today but for some reason, I am feeling cheerful & quite happy tonight - & I am hoping hard that I have an intuition that some post has now arrived. I shall have it tomorrow or very soon after.
I was thinking this morning about my morale & the affect which your letters have upon it. And this then made me wish that my morale was as good as my morals. It is, perhaps, rather a weak sort of a [?] - but so many people out here seem to allow their morals to assist their morale & so manage to pass the time & even enjoy themselves more than they would if they were at home & with their wives & families. For myself, I do not really think about it at all as a matter of my morals - I just love you to the exclusion of everybody & everything else & that is the beginning & the end of the matter.
I am looking forward to the next two days - no office work - some good hard marching - a night out in the open & in my valise & camp cooking & so on
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the weather is lovely & the moon full & high. It will be a grand change.
To bed now & continue on Friday - good night sweetest Barbara - XXXX H.
Sunday - Nov. 9th - My two day's march turned out to be quite a gruelling affair, & only about now I am sufficiently back to normal to carry on my letter to you.
On Thursday, we covered 18 miles, our objective was 2000 ft higher than the starting point & the going was rough & rocky. This was my first march since N. Ireland & so I felt pretty ruined by the end of the day & my poor feet were about raw. The weather too, was as trying as it possibly could be - frightfully hot & a blazing sun, & one of these foul Khamsseir had to appear & blow all the time. I was very sorely tempted to make the return journey by track but felt that I must go on in some way or other. The return was 14 miles & cross country all the way & hotter than ever. I really thought I was not going to make it, but somehow I did. Never have I been so pleased & relieved to reach home - even if home did consist of my own bloody barrack square in the bloody camp. It really was very arduous & the men did well. They have been on training for two months & doing 4 or 5 mile marches several times a week. It was all a bit too sudden for me. And it is always much more difficult when you have to go to the head & be responsible
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for the pack & the route & everything else. My batman being as unused to marching as myself, was unable to make the return march - another rather panty type packed up, saying he had a heart attack & Jim Headley collapsed about 2 miles from home - & otherwise we finished all complete. But apart from the strain, it was all a great success - with the exception of the wretched Hohr, who did so many things wrong, & so many silly things - that I simply could not bear to see him again that day. I went off to Tel-Aviv with Ben in the Austin & had a nice dinner & home early to bed. And last night, I was in bed at 9.30 & had a solid 10 hours until 7.30 this morning & now feel much better. It is really most interesting getting among the Arabs because that is more or less what one is bound to do if one gets out into the hills & villages. The Jews are all in the towers or else in their settlements & colonies. it is a pity I cannot talk to them or understand a word they are saying because they go off into long stories, all very theatrical & tense & they always sound so interesting. That is always another advantage of having Ben with me, as he speaks Arabic.
I had your two page Airgraph yesterday - of Oct. 10th & both pages miraculously arrived together. If the first had arrived without the second, it would have been infuriating & the other way round would have been baffling. You were worried darling that my cable may have been indiscreet but I don't think that there is any need to worry about that. It just stated plainly what I intended & wanted to do. And I had already asked advice from the Area Commander & it was he who had advised
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the medical certificate if possible. You sounded fearful about the journey by sea, my darling. I'm afraid that in spite of the letters & things I have written discussing all the pros & cons & the real end of the matter is that the sea journey is too much & too dangerous with or without Maxie. In any case, you would not leave Max. I would not ask you or want you to & I expect I would think it strange if you would yourself. So it is left for me to try & be sent home. I cannot begin to try until the next applications are called for & that may be soon or it may be a long time. And if that fails, then we just have to wait for the war to come to an end. And I really cannot see it going on for another year. And darling, there is a great deal to be said for coming home to you - with it all ended & a month or so of leave or holiday. & then starting out together again. We could get into an awful mess out here- if you were evacuated to LA or if I were sent off somewhere else & then maybe arriving home separately. We could have an awful time. I spend an awful amount of money & generally get out of our depth. but I shall still explore, darling - just in case there is a safer & easier & more sure way.
I also had a pc. from my ma - which took two months & she had just received the snaps of you & Max & me & Peter. I gather she does not like the name Max. In a
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previous letter she spoke of David & in this one she called him "your boy". As I told you before, he seems to be irrevocably Max now. I wonder if your mind is made up or whether you are still wondering.
I also had sea mail letters from Frost & Gladys - July & Aug respectively. Frost said he had written three times before - but I have not had any of them. Things sound a bit grim at the Works, owing to cotton control & resultant shortage of that commodity, so essential to us - but they seem to be keeping their end up which is the main thing. He sent good wishes & interesting messages from various people. Barker of Cn. E. Hermitage he told me had left under a cloud at Xmas. I was v. sorry to hear this. And George Hallas is now a 2nd Lieut. Gladys wrote "Dear Mr. Massey" which was refreshing & sensible of her. She was overjoyed about Maxie - kind soul. She said it would have done my heart good to have seen them all in the office when they heard from you that I was a major - but not to get too attached to a mililtary life because they wanted me back again. What a hope! Also that my new office is grand - but that had I been there some things might have been different & dark hints that the "powers that
