Letter from Harry Massey to Barbara Massey

Letter No 86 Saturday Dec 6th

Major J.H. Massey 6 Palestinian Coy, The Buffs M.E.F.

Sweet darling Barbara,

What a strange & altogether bloody life this is. Always very nearly no matter how clear the day may seem one thing or another turns up & I am kept going until late in the evening. So it was again today. After dinner, at 8.30 I began this letter & now it is 11-0 o'clock, but the baseless [?] is not the result of work - I'm afraid I was not in a writing mood. So I wrote a couple of reports I had to do, & then read this week's copy of "World Press Review" the latter is a weekly put out by the Information Propaganda Department of G.H.Q. M.E. & is a selection from British & American newspapers & magazine writings. It is popularly supposed to be edited by Major (2nd Lieut, Acting Major) Randolph Churchill who is certainly not in the M.E. At first about 8 weeks ago, it infuriated me almost beyond words. It seemed to be practically 5th Column - all about the low moral of the American army & their anti-Rooseveltism, the marvels of the German army & Luftwaffe & the matchless commanders - sympathy for France - snobbish condescension towards Russia - belittling of ourselves. The first issue invited comment - critical & otherwise & I had a furious reply boiling & forming in my mind but was a bit loth to put it down on paper & send it off, as after all, the thing did emanate from G.H.Q. & must have been seen & approved by brass hats. So I stormed down to see the Area Commander about it. He said that he rather agreed with me but that I had better not write as I felt in case of

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of trouble. I think this was just a bit of typical Regular Army "keep your feet dry" & "ostrich" [married?] but having asked his advice, I felt bound to take it. However, other people have replied critically - all of them missing the point rather pitifully - & I think the Gov't must have come down on it too. Because now it has changed entirely & is altogether too optimistic & generally the other way round. Our propaganda is really very clumsy & maladroit & without direction too.

I have just looked up my Fowler to see if maladroit is a good word to use or not, but it did not mention it. On my way through, my eye was caught by the word girl - Fowler says "-they use with curl, which a pearl & with the first syllable of early, not of fairly. But a pronunciation gairl (garl) not very easily distinguished from gal (gal) is much affected by persons who aim at peculiar refinement. Novellists who write gurl as a representation of course speach are presumably of this refined class". That would seem to answer my mother & some others I know. Fowler is really very rich & rude & not a little unkind but very helpful. I wonder are my English & spelling improving? It has certainly made me more conscience & careful.

I must now hear the 11.45 news & go to bed. Six years ago tonight, I was at Ramano's

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with every body except you - oh dear, I do feel sad. Goodnight, sweet darling & I shall think of you & how I love you when I am in bed. XXXH.

Monday Dec 8th - I decided yesterday to give a little party to celebrate our anniversary. So I had a bottle of Camel Hock put on the ice: a bottle of Rishan Claret put in warm water & glasses put on the table & made sure that we had sherry & brandy. Solaman came in before dinner, first & had a glass of sherry & then I suddenly felt sick & serious about it all & had the wine kept back on its shelf & the glasses removed from the table. They are such a boring blasted lot & I could not face it. And I decided instead to take Ben Solaman to Tel-Aviv for dinner & "Gone with the Wind" which has just arrived. It will cost more money but I shall not grudge it.

Did you remember, darling, the day we saw [that film?] in London? You were wearing your chartreuse coloured frock - the one you have on in your photograph & we walked about London from the photographer to [?] where I bought my sun glasses which I have never worn, to Martins Bak to get the travellers cheques & to the snack bar where we had lunch & holding hands all the time. I often think of those days in London in Sept, & how lovely you were. But how we wasted time - trying to buy Khakis drill which we never bought & seeing if you could come to Egypt as a nurse or anything at all & there was never any chance. And all the time we might have been away somwhere in the country & having an ever lovelier time.

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I am now receiving Christmas cards - it really is disappointing L/Cpl Chilz came running to me with beams all over his face & says "Personal letter for you, Sir" - this is what it is. So far, I have had them from Frost, Dora & Gladys & Kitty. Also a long seven page letter from Kitty- she is the older one, you remember; quite interesting & full of news about people at the works. I think I will put these works letters in an envelope & send them off to you by sea mail - then you will know most of what is going on there, & also see the kind things they say to me.

The news has broken today of Japan's attacks on us & the U.S.A. They are a dirty lot of yellow bastards. There is very little news so far - it is terribly difficult to tell what affect this is going to have on the courses & duration of the war. Even though America does now come in, it seems to me that it will now be generally more difficult & long drawn out. That is now practically the whole world in it - what a shocking mess & turmoil.

I am in a terrible mood for letter writing, my darling, & everything seems unreal & [?]. I have heard nothing of you for so long - the other thing is that I am now counting every day on a reply from HQ about my appicaiton. I find myself quite unable to think of anything else at all, & it makes it seem so pointless my writing about all my silly little affairs. Soon, I really suppose, I shall receive the sickening

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negative reply - I shall write pages upon pages about that & eventually settle down again & be able to tell you about the Coy & its people & what I am doing.

I shall stop now & hope that tomorrow or Wednesday I shall either have news from you or from HQ. I shall then let go a flood. I do love you & miss you so much my sweetheart. I loathe & detest this life.

Friday Dec 12th - what have I been doing since last Saturday inclusive to have only written you 4-1/2 pages. I'm afraid that it is mainly caused by this difficult mood of mine which has refused to allow me to even feel capable of writing decently to you. But I must pull myself together. It is bad enough asking you to share my bad moods but that must not mean that you should suffer from them by getting no letters. Though it does seem so ridiculously immaterial of me when I post my letters. I had another cable from you this week, saying you had not heard from me. I immediately replied - by [?] just to say that I had sent letters & parcels & asking you not to worry. And you must not my darling, if whenever I do get sent anywhere dangerous. I shall immediately send you a cable , an A.G. & a letter telling you what has happened & giving you my new address. Otherwise, so long as you do not hear that Palestine has been invaded, you will know that I am here with my Jew boys: These parts really are too bad. Today my bad spell has been broken with your [?] of Oct 26th - nearly 4 weeks to come. It give me the