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5.

negative reply - I shall write pages upon pages
about that & eventually settle down again & be able
to tell you about the Coy & its people & what I
am doing.

I shall stop now & hope that tomorrow or Wednesday I
shall either have news from you or from HQ. I shall
then let go a flood. I do love you & miss you so
much my sweetheart. I loathe & detest this life.

Friday Dec 12th - what have I been doing since last
Saturday inclusive to have only written you 4-1/2 pages. I'm
afraid that it is mainly caused by this difficult mood of mine
which has refused to allow me to even feel capable of writing
decently to you. But I must pull myself together. It is bad
enough asking you to share my bad moods but that must
not mean that you should suffer from them by getting
no letters. Though it does seem so ridiculously immaterial
of me when I post my letters. I had another cable
from you this week, saying you had not heard from
me. I immediately replied - by [?] just to say that
I had sent letters & parcels & asking you not to
worry. And you must not my darling, if whenever I do
get sent anywhere dangerous. I shall immediately send you
a cable , an A.G. & a letter telling you what has
happened & giving you my new address. Otherwise, so
long as you do not hear that Palestine has been
invaded, you will know that I am here with
my Jew boys: These parts really are too bad. Today
my bad spell has been broken with your [?] of Oct
26th - nearly 4 weeks to come. It give me the

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