p.

7/
the delay was all for the best. I was much younger
+ rather silly in those days- I really feel not quite
up to your standard. And even our first year or
so of married life had its difficult times - though
probably less of them than nearly anybody else. But
I was so horribly jealous + hated you getting letters
from Roland- I used to nearly die of jealousy
+ anguish when you went away to London. I think
now that if I had been open + honest about what I
feel + told you openly how much I loved you +
wanted you - you would have responded. But you
were sometimes so cold + cross about my worrying
+ that used to make me worse + more awkward
nuisance of myself. And I was so lonely too. as
you always told me, so ready to take everything
personally. But nearly all the time from the
moment we met was sheer heaven + I don't
believe any two people could have been as
passionately [ ?] happy as we were. And
I want to start again soon, when the leaving
will be more intense - & will never stop
but wanting, my darling, very hard, never to
have a quarrel & never to be [ ?] or to
hurt each other. We can argue & disagree like
hell, but we must never allow anything to
happen between us which could hurt or leave
any mark at all - or bad memory, even for
a short time. I think it is easily possible