p.

Letter No. 12. Friday - 15 May 42.
Major J. H. Massey
6, Palestinian Corp, The [Buffs ?] [?]
My own darling Barbara -
This is an awful life, & I do miss you so
much, my darling. That is not a very cheerful beginning
to a letter, but I feel less & less cheerful these days. There
is so little tangible sign of an end to the war, & this being
away from you is so unbearable & painful & tragic. And yes, the
times seems to pass, too rapidly, [in about ?] 1/2 months I shall
have been away from you for two years - & in less than that
the war will enter its 4th year. Never did I dream of such a
thing happening to you & I. Last year, I used to write to
you, I remember, & rather glibby, about the law of compensation,
& how all would be repaid to us in added happiness
& joy. I still believe very firmly in that. But I just
feel now that I do not want or need any compensing -
I only want to come home to be with you now. It
has gone on for long enough. You know how I take
things pretty seriously - well - at the moment, & for some
time now, I am taking the war seriously. And I am
always feeling furious & frustrated because I do not
think that other people do. I don't much like complacency
at any time - & at the moment I cannot bear it,
because it is keeping you & I apart longer than
necessary. Anyway, I have thrown a few guantlets
down during the last few days, & I am now awaiting
results. I cannot possibly tell you anything about
it, unfortunately - but they amount to personal
attacks, & so the dust should rise.
Another point of interest is that I am going up to