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No. 18 Wednesday June 17th Major J.H.Massey 6 Palestinian Coy, The Buffs M.E.F.
My own dear darling
Your p.c. of May 18 came yesterday & told me that Max now has 3 teeth & that he is fine in every way Goodness, but I am longing to see him. I'm sure you understand my feelings very well - I have a deep mental ache for your friendship & companionship & sympathy & help - on top of that I have the strangest & most continuous longing to make love to you & lay hands on you & kiss you & be kissed by you, & that is quite specific & by no means vague or general - & then in addition, having known & loved Lisa, there is our son who I have never seen, & who is advancing & passing through stage after stage that, I shall miss forever. Your letters about him are wonderful & could not possibly be more real & human. But they are a poor substitute for Maxie himself, in exactly the same way as they are for the two of us.
Oh what a life this is, & what a wicked waste of our time, We will, we will make up for it.
The war situation is very baffling, & it is more difficult than ever to see an end to it. The Nazi war machine still seems to be full of fight & power & they are now on the definite offensive in Libya, Kharkar, Sebastopol & also getting ready for Leningrad & the far Russian North. I can only think that we are sticking to Churchill's principle of force & as far as one can see at the moment, all the Nazi's attacks are being held or contained. But I am getting very impatient & beginning to wonder just when we shall be able to gather together enough men & machinery & efficiency & determinatio, all at the same time & the same place.
I hope that the Americans, quite apart from the fact
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that they swell our numbers & equipment, may have a good influence. Such few as I have met out here, are very direct & serious & hard working, & no bloody nonsense at all.
Reverting to your p.c. my love - I am glad the first consignment of honey, jam & soap arrived, & sorry about the cigs. A few more were sent on since then. And no more after I heard about the frightful duty you had to pay. I was in Tel Aviv today & bought some more honey, & some stuff called apple sauce, which I will send on in 2 parcels, the apple is said to be a kind of puree, which should be good for Maxie.
About Frank Stanier - I have had one letter only from him, & replied with an A.G. & later a Xmas A.G. It was very good of him to send you chocolates - He is a dear old thing, poor Frank - those 6 months in the 5 Bn were like an Indian Summer for him - you & I & other young friends, & no business worries, & away from his dreadful wife - & an affair with a pretty young woman. I reckon he will be up to see us at many unexpected times after the war, if we are in Bradford.
At last, there is a reasonably important, but not very exciting piece of news about which to tell you - & that is that next week I am taking the Coy back to where we were last year. We go into a tented camp of some kind & which I have yet to see - & not, thank God, into the barracks. I think I should have flatly refused to go back there. And so field allowance will still be payable I am pleased to say. I am not very much moved about the move, one way or another - but, on the whole, it is a good thing to have a change of view & work, & especially for the men - & for me, a change of staff officers with whom to deal. Also, the sea will be much nearer for bathing - & the town much nearer for cinemas & the Palestine Orchestra, & the possibility of going to a
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restaurant for a meal & not having to spend a lot of money on a taxi. And I shall have the Hopkins just around the corner, which will be nice. But that is all it amounts to, & there is very little new in it, & certainly no thrill attached to it. I will tell you all about it after we have arrived.
Friday - June 19th My darling, I was idle on Wednesday & sat dreaming & moaning about you instead of going on with tihs letter. The one happy result of this was that I really did have rather a lovely dream about you in my sleep, & seemed to spend the whole night in kissing you. You were wearnign your long wine coloured velvet dress, & we were standing in front of a mantelpiece painted by you & very like the Nab Lane one & you were looking very pretty of course & your body & especially your bosom felt to real & close to me - it was very vivid & lovely, darling - & I almost expected to find you there next to me when I woke up in the morning.
I sometimes wonder if such real & vivid dreams can possibly foreshadow the near advent of my homecoming. And in that connection, I had a thrill & a reassurance today. Yesterday, I had been to Haifa to recee our new job - & whilte I was away, the Staff Capt had been telephoning & wanting to see me & asking that I go in to see him this morning. I was afraid that he wanted me in connection with our move, & that is what it turned out to be. But I had hoped that it was about my posting home, the time being ripe & even over ripe. HOwever, he did tell me that no replies have yet been received - & he assured me again that the Area Commander had 'strongly recommended' my case. So I will now stay on my tenter hooks for a few more days. But I am not hopeful - & I cannot bring myself to believe that such a piece of good
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fortune can possibly be ours. When will the war end? That is what we want to know, now.
An interesting thing happened today, & one which directly affects both of us - if it comes off. I was in seeing Col. L. this morning & broached again the question of what is to happen to me when my 18 months are up on Aug 1st And he asked me how I would like to be Chief Recruiting Officer for Palestine! (This is a major's job, so do not get too excited, darling) This was not such a bolt from the blue as I pretended it to be - because I have considered it for myself from time to time during the last few weeks, along with various other possible & improbable jobs, not excluding Col. L's own. For a long time now, it has been carried out very slackly & badly & ineffectively by a Major Methven, who is a pleasant enough, white haired man from the Royal Scots Greys - but H.Q. are tired of T being offered to me I did not quite know what to say. I told Col. L. that I certainly thought that the job offered great scope & possibilities for doing [deleteted]a[/deleted] really useful work - he said he thought I would do it very well - I said that I had no doubts about that, but it was not a very exciting or romantic proposition & not just my idea of soldiering. Finally I said I thought I would like to do it, provided there was nothing better going, he said he would put it up to Palestine H.Q.
There are many ways of thinking about this & I am still thinking hard & wondering whether to leave it as it is, or see L again to turn it down. The disadvantages are that it is pretty unromantic for somebody of my age & health & strength - but this
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is really only a prejudice & to which I must become used. And also, I should prefer a staff job, with some real power & possibilities - but I think the hope of that is not too good, not being a Regular - & if I hold out for that, I may easily find myself being sent to the Infantry Base Depot, in my war substantive rank of Captain, & from there, into the Desert as a reinforcement.
I could, of course, apply for & get an extension in my present command - but I am very browned off here, & it is such a dead end as things are just now.
The advantages & attractions of the C.R.O. position are several. Firstly, it is about as safe a job as I possibly could find, even safer than my present one. It is a position of some importance & I should be dealing all the time with Palestine H.Q. staff, the Government Administration, District Commissioners etc, the Jewish Agency, the Arab Committee & so on. And it is important work, & well done, can be of very great help to the war effort Therefore, I should be somewhat of a public figure, & so may become recognised & really find an opportunity for advancement. I should be ealing with the Arabs for the first time, as well as the Jews, & so should get to know them & their outlook. And I should get about & see the country very much more than I have done, & be meeting people all the time. Really & turly, the job might be very good for me, from the points of view of broadening my outlook & teaching me to meet & speak with & deal with British Army & Government & civilian & Jew & Arab
