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4.

told you quite a lot since then, but at the I.B.D. it was
such a dull life in many ways, and I was so frantically
depressed at that time, and there really was so little to
tell. But in future, I will try and be more
interesting. Though here I lead a very dull and quiet life
darling, as I have told you. Much work, and the concerts
and a few films, and an occasional outing - and a great
deal of time by myself. I'm afraid I waste a
great deal of this time, when I might be writing
to you or reading - by just sitting and thinking and
feeling sad - but I do enjoy sitting and thinking. Of
course, I will see more of Palestine, sometime soon,
but up to now, there is too much work to think of
any leave, and mroe than anything else, I like to be
by myself - and now I have Peter to keep me company,
which helps quite a bit. But so much and so many of
my thoughts are sad and about Lisa, and very often I have
not wanted to write very much about this, because I
cannot tell how you will be feeling when my letter
arrives, and I do not want to make you any more
sad and unhappy than you alreday may be.

I'm afraid that I made a bad mistake, in sending
some of my letters by sea mail, and this will be what
is causing the gap in the arrival of my letters. But I
spoke to many people at the time, and eventually came
to the conclusion that sea mail had started going
through the Mediterranean, and I felt bound to try it.
If only I had not done that, you at least would
have been assured of continuity. The mistake will not
be made again.

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