p.

Glenwood 9.6.1861

My darling Brother,
It seems so long since
I parted with thee that I must write
a little. I think of thee most all the
time. Am I to blame for thinking so
much of the one I love best? ? is
a darling brother. Though I always knew
him yet it seems as though I never
realized it --- as forcibly as now. Ever
since we went away to school together I
have thought more of thee than any
other person excepting our mother. I
recall thy great kindness to me in
helping me in my studies and have
many times wondered at thy unfail-
ing patience and kindness with my
dulness. If I ever make anything of
a scholar, it will be owing to the
influence of thy example and advice.

I have said but little to thee about
my feelings concerning thy going.
I have felt a great deal. It would
be strange if I did not for I have
loved thee so much it seems as though
I would change thy life for mine, yet,
since the commencement of our trouble
I have thought there was no resort
but to ? and have wished to
be a man that I might also engage
in the conflict, as much as my
feelings have dictated I have not ?
and have endeavored to say nothing pro
or con, but now there is no help and
the seal is past the Rubicon passed, I fear.
I love my brother better than very country.
I have been reading "Resignation" every
word recalls thee -- How ugly I was that
day. I don't know what made me so
do forgive that and 10,000000 other
hateful streaks of mine. Thee has always
returned these with kindness and love.
We must meet again, I should grow
crazy if I thought we should not.
God bless thee my dear in thy going out
and coming in. In whatever thee
undertakes, most truly bless will thee
in covering him with his peace which
? all understanding.