12031915 11

[across all columns]
FOUR GREENVILLE DAILY PIEDMONT, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1915.

[Column 1]

Greenville Daily Piedmont
Established 1824.
Every afternoon except Sunday. At
[317?] S. Main St., Greenville, S. C.
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The Greenville Daily Piedmont will
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are signed by their authors and are
not of defamatory nature.
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Audit Bureau of the Carolinas. It was
the first paper in South Carolina to
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trolled by advertisers and whose audit
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GEO. R. KOESTER, Publisher
----------------------------------------------------------
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1915.
----------------------------------------------------------
THE PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE.

President Woodrow Wilson is gen-
erally apt in speech and clear in ex-
pression. His address of today to
congress is no exception to this state-
ment. On the contrary, it is marked
by strength, simplicity and by that of
wording.

As signed by the President, the ad-
dress is "upon a single theme, the
thorough preparation of the nation to
care for its own security and to make
sure of entire freedom to play the
impartial role in this hemisphere and
in the world which we [blurry] believe to
have been providentially assigned to
it." Furthermore as the President de-
clares that is "no thought of any
immediate or particular danger aris-
ing out of our relations with other
nations."

These words, as indeed, the whole
address, are tactful, for whilst he ear-
nestly urges the necessity of increas-
ing both army and navy, and of being
prepared against aggression, he so in-
termingles suggestions relating to the
affairs and welfare of the nation, that
there is no impression created or
of alarm or of the necessity of action to
meet any novel condition.

The President, however, is clear in
his view that large increases should
be made in our military and naval
forces. In this view he but expresses
the public thought and there can be
little doubt that congress wil be in
accord. There will be differences in
detail, but agreement in policy.

Another phase of the address re-
lates to the relations between the
other nations of our hemisphere and
ourselves. There is a reiteration of
the Monroe Doctrine with the decla-
ration that our interest in this doc-
trine is in behalf of "a common cause
of national independence and of po-
litical liberty in America." In this
view he defends his policy in Mexico
and declares that our "purpose is now
better understood so far as it con-
cerns ourselves. It is human not to
be a selfish purpose. It is known to
have in it no thought of taking ad-
vantage of any government in this
hemisphere or playing its political for-
tunes for our own benefit." The
Piedmont belives that in these ex-
pressions he truly represents the na-
tional thought though of course there
are still remaining some of selfish
design.

The president also suggests to con-
gress the necessity of the increase of
the revenue of the government so that
extraordinary expenses may be met
from current income rather than
from the issue of bonds. As a means
towards increased revenue, suugges-
tions are made for the increase of in-
come taxes, and for taxes on gasoline,
automobiles, bank checks, pig iron
and steel. In other words he wise-
ly urges that these [bases?] be distrib-
uted so far as possible amongst all
classes, stating that "in a country
of great industries like this it
ought to be easy to distribute that
burden of taxation without making
them anywhere near too heavily or too
exclusively upon any one set of per-
sons or undertakings. What is clear
is that the industry of this generation
should pay the bills of this genera-
tion."

In his conclusion, the President
clearly indicates that the thinks a
most careful strudy must be made of
the trasportation problem with the
view of ascertaining whether or not
the railroads with their present reve-
nue, can cope with the difficul-
ties confronting them in equipment
and construction. There is an evident
suggestion that for the present at
least there be an arrest of any bur-
densome requirements of railroads.
We believe in this case he has the
sympathy of all thoughtful citizens.

There are other subjects referred
to by the President which can well be
considered in subsequent reviews.
Sufficient be it to say that the ad-
dress as a whole is able and states-
manlike and should be read with care
and thought by every citizen.
--------------------o--------------------
IS THERE NO VIRTUE LEFT.
[cut off]

[column 2]

trial conditions, we may rush into
even greater. So it says:

"If a Board of Arbitration.

"In favor of the establishment of a
board of arbitration to intervene in
disputes between labor and capital in
South Carolina there is much to be
said and not much to be said against
it, provided—

That the constitution of the pro-
posed board be protected from parti-
san politics.

"To create a board of arbitration
and elect is members by primary
would make conditions a great deal
worse than they are.

"Not even election by the General
Assembly or appointment by the gov-
ernor of members of the proposed
board would afford sufficient protec-
tion from partisan and selfish influ-
ences."

It seems to us unduly distrubed. We
do not believe that things have come
to such a pass, that the people can not
act with intelligence, or that a gover-
nor elected by them can not be trust-
ed to make appointments of men of
character, or that legislators fresh
from the people can not be expected
to legislate with care or elect judi-
ciously.

We trust the governor to make oth-
er appointments involving the proper-
ty of the citizens and indeed their
very lives. We trust the legislature
to elect the judges of our courts to
construe and administer the laws.
Why is it to be expected that the
legislature will so signally fail, when
it comes to the appointment of arbi-
trators, whose duties will be to at-
tempt to adjust differences between
employers and employes.

President [Gossels?] of Brogan mills
has publicly thanked President Wil-
son for the services of the federal
arbitrators and has expressed to Gover-
nor Manning his appreciation of the
fairness displayed by the governor's
representative, Mr. Thompson.

If the rational arbitrators have
done well, if Governor Manning's rep-
resentative has been impartial, why
is it to be arranged that there are
not others of like character to be
had? The Piedmont believes there
is still some virtue in the land, in the
people, in the governors and in the
legislature.
--------------------o--------------------
DOING A PUBLIC SERVICE.

At the request of Capt. Richard F.
Watson, the Greenville News yester-
day re-published an article written
by Hon. Henry A. Page of Aber-
deen, North Carolina entitled "Stop
Wasting the People's Tax and Bond
Money." As said by The News Mr.
Page "is one of the foremost good
roads advocates of his section—a sec-
tion which has built and kept good
roads at less cost perhaps than any
other section of the South."

In attempting to justify the very
large bond issue which was proposed
in this county for the construction of
"permanent roads," it has been stated
by members of the Greenville delega-
tion and others that after such roads
are constructed there will be no fur-
ther cause of expenditure. The im-
pression has been conveyed that there
is such a thing as a "permanent"
road. Mr. Page differs from this
view saying, "Any road that does
not receive systematic, regular main-
tenance and inspection from the day
it is finished, will suffer damage which
cannot be fully repaired, and if this
neglect is continued it will soon be-
come worthless." Again says "[blurry?]
spend half your available money in
construction and invest the other half
so as to endow your roads and pro-
vide income for upkeep. Or else vote
in maintenance tax outright; and I
might say that I would never vote
a bond issue for roads that did not in
some way provide an annual in-
come for maintenance."

How different does all this sound
from what had been told by the advo-
cates of the million dollar bond issue.
We had been led to believe that if we
once built a "permanent" road every-
one would be happy for there would
be no further taxes. A good road
would take care of itself, it was said.

Greenville county certainly needs
good roads and Mr. Page points out
how these can be obtained and can be
maintained cheaply. According to
him it is not necessary to have roads
so wide as are now being built in
some sections of this county. On the
contrary, he earnestly urges that
roads be not built more than sixteen
feet wide. Likewise it is not neces-
sary to spend $10,000.00 a mile to
build a few miles. He urges expendi-
ture at a rate of $1,000.00 a mile, so
that many miles can be built.

There is room for thought in what
Mr. Page writes. He knows what he
is writing about. There is also room
for thought in the case that had it
not been for J. W. Little and those as-
sociated with him, Greenville county
would now have been burdened with
an enormous bond issue which would
have been spent in the construction of
roads neither suited to our condition
nor within our means. Greenville
county can have good roads at a com-
paratively small cost if those charged
with the duty of constructing and
overseeing them will not confine their
efforts to the class of roads suitable to
[cut off]

[column 3]

mont believes the people of Greenville
county are thinking, and as suggested
by Mr. Watson it would be particularly
fortunate if our delegation and road
commission give heed to Mr. Page's
statements.
--------------------o--------------------
ENOUGH.

The Daily Piedmont has been very
liberal in furnishing space for the
Sabbath-Sunday controversy. It has
printed very lengthy communications
from people holding divergent views
upon this question, which cannot be
settled through the columns of this
paper.

As the controversy bids fair, like
Tennyson's brook to "go on forever,"
if The Piedmont furnish a channel
for it, and as each succeeding contri-
bution to the controversy becomes
more voluminous, The Piedmont feels
compelled to save its news columns
by calling a halt to any continuance
of the controversy in the pages of
this paper.
--------------------o--------------------
If anybody has to read the peti-
tion of the suffragists we are sure
they would not have cared if another
mile or so of the thing had been
lost.
--------------------o--------------------
Some people said that Wilson
made the number thirteen lucky. Now
it's up to him to make December
brides the custom instead of June
ones.
--------------------o--------------------
Some of us may be too slow to
catch cold, but nearly all are rapid
enough to catch more or less thun-
der in this life.
--------------------o--------------------
Cheer up. The twenty-five dollar
coat your wife wants for Christmas
might be worse. Some women would
want an automobile to match it.
--------------------o--------------------
Some men are such dudes they
wouldn't let their wives sit in their
laps for fear of ruining the creases
in their trousers.
--------------------o--------------------
Some people fool themselves into
believing that they love certain
friends of whom they are only proud.
--------------------o--------------------
You freshmen in college cheer up.
Think of all those new senators that
were sworn in yesterday, and what
they are catching now.
--------------------o--------------------
Framed up New Year resolutions
yet?"

Scintiliations

We are afraid our friend Hen-
ry Ford is going to find that mak-
ing peace in Europe is a different
matter from making automobiles in
America, even with our esteemed lieu-
tenant governor to assist him.—Sa-
luda Standard.
----------o----------
Hog killing time is at hand. We
hope that every farmer in this section
has a sufficient number of hogs to
make enough meat to do him until the
next winter. No danger of growing
too many hogs yet a while.—Kershaw
Era.
----------o----------
In other words, Mr. Garrison
charges that Mr. Taft has resorted in
the use of poisoned gas.—Greensboro
News.
----------o----------
They're taking copper off the church
roofs in Germany to make shells,
and melting up church bells in Rus-
sia and Austria for the same purpose.
There's nothing sacred any more but
the Will to Win.—Anderson Intelli-
gencer.
----------o----------
Ohio has just pulled off a lynching.
Chicago Tribune will please take no-
tice.—Houston Post.
----------o----------
T. Roosevelt has requested Nebras-
ka to take his name off that much
advertised primary list of possibili-
ties. Teddy evidently desires a more
[blurry] launching.—Charleston
Post.
----------o----------
Pure religion is the best restraint
of crime, while poverty is often a
mere deterrent.—Barnwell People.
----------o----------
Demands Protection for American
Lives—Headline over a Mexican dis-
patch. And it's not in the joke col-
umn either—Greensboro News.
----------o----------
Taxpayers ought to test expendi-
ture by the permanence of its re-
sults—Times-Democrat.
----------o----------
If you want to know how many
hours it is until the Christmas holi-
days, just ask some college boy—
Journal and Spartan.
----------o----------
The Greeks bearing gifts may be
fearsome, but England would like to
be shown.—Greensboro News.
----------o----------
A new dance called the "electric
spark" is said to be shocking. An-
derson Mail.
----------o----------
Governor Brewer, of Mississippi,
we learn is an ardent prohibitionist.
Another illustration of what's in a
name.—Anderson Mail.
----------o----------
If Tom Watson is "the sage of
Thomson," we would certainly like to
see the village idiot.—Columbia State.
----------o----------
While everything was running
along smoothly toward preparedness
up bobbed Dr. Eliot with a new
fangled notion about free govern-
ment.—Greenwood Journal.
--------------------o--------------------
Motion.

The Poet—Now I know what is
meant by the poetry of motion.
These poems are it.
[cut off]

[column 4]

[advertisement for book by Woodrow Wilson, spans cols. 4-5]
[photo of Woodrow Wilson]
OUR COUNTRY By
OUR PRESIDENT
A History of the American People
By Woodrow Wilson

dent through The McClare Newspaper Syndicate.
(Copyright, 1901, 1902, by Harper & Brothers.)
(Copyright 1915, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.)
Special Notice—These articles are protected under the copyright
laws which impose a severe penalty for infringement
by use either entire or in part.
_______________________________________________________________
[headline and article spans cols. 4-5, top section]
A Cabinet Change

The "authorization" of federal act-
ion by a single State went much be-
yond the meaning Mr. Madison and
Mr. Jefferson had intended the Res-
solutions to speak.

They meant only that, in case of an
exercise of federal powers by Con-
gress which was obviously, palpably
excessive, the methods applied by
the constitution itself must be used
to check it.

"The ultimate arbiter," as Mr. Jef-
ferson said, as he looked back to
these things in his old age and reas-
sessed his principles of action, "the
ultimate arbiter is the people of the
Union, assembled by their deputies in
convention at the call of Congress, or
of two-thirds of the States. Let them
decide . . . It has been the peculiar
wisdom and felicity of our constitu-
tion to have provided this peaceable
appeal, where that of other nations
is at once to force."

Congress must not itself be suf-
fered to determine its own powers un-
checked. The Resolutions said noth-
ing explicitly of constitutional meth-
od; but they implied much, and rang
out very significantly upon the tense
air of the time.

Though no other legislature was
willing to echo them, men noted their
outspoken doctrine of federal limita-
tions and State rights.

The opposition recognized in them
a formidable weapon of defense; and
no one doubted that it was more than
a passing sign of the times that such
things should be said.

There underlay all this something
deeper than the mere antagonism of
party.

Clearly the Federalists had gone
too far. The indictment of their enemies
seemed proved—they were the party
of power, of autocratic power, and not
the party of popular privilege.

While the bad impression was in its
height, however, a serious rift was
disclosed in the counsels of the party
itself. Mr. Adams broke with Mr.
Hamilton.

He had continued General Wash-
ington's cabinet in office upon his own
succession to the Presidency; and had
thus put himself in the hands of men
who looked to Mr. Hamilton, rather
than to himself for guidance, though
Mr. Hamilton was himself no longer
a member of the cabinet.

The President frequently found it
necessary to act without their knowl-
edge or assent, in order to act with
independence and without embarrass-
ing interference from outside quar-
ters.

He had sent the embassy which
concluded peace with France without
their knowledge or approbation great-
ly to their chagrin and to the deep
annoyance of Hamilton, whom they

[article continues on column 5, top section]

deemed their party leader. Neither
Hamilton nor they had wished peace
with France.

At last Mr. Adams found the fric-
tion intolerable.

He dismissed his ministers, and
substituted others whose unquestion-
ing allegiance to himself he could
command, branding the men he dis-
missed as "a British faction," and so
made the breach with Hamilton com-
plete.

Tehre [There] was here something more
than a mere breach betweeen men. It
was a breach which cut to the very
foundations of the party itself.

Hithero Mr. Hamilton had been the
real master of the Federalist policy; but
he had ruled the party through a mi-
nority in the ranks, not by persuasion
or any act of popular force, but by
sheer mastery over men, a power in
counsel, a gift of constructive states-
manship unmatched among his con-
temporaries.

Mr. Adams disliked most other
strongwilled men, and Mr. Hamilton
had made himself almost his open
enemy; but something deeper than
mere personal antagonism separated
them.

It was spoken out in Mr. Adams'
angry charge that Hamilton and those
who adhered to him as their person-
al chief were nothing better than a
"British faction."

It was unjust, it was false, but it
was not without foundation. It was
but a crude, undiscriminating way of
interpreting the plain fact, which Mr.
Hamilton made hardly a pretense of
concealing—that the men who had
hithero led the Federalist party fear-
ed democracy, distrusted it with an
impendible distrust, believed a
strong government necessary, which
should be intrusted to men of old-
er traditions of power and of states-
manship received from over sea, deem
ed the English government; if strip-
ped of its abuses, the safest model of
free institutions, and thought Eng-
land the only European power worth
keeping close friendship with in in-
ternational dealings.

They had not accounted the ideals of
Americans set up at the Revolution; had
refused to acquiesce in it as a defi-
nite triumph of democracy. They
were seeking to perpetuate the ideals
of an older world, a more ancient con-
tention of government.

It was their lack of sympathy that
the country felt. It was their un-
willingness, their inability to act
wholly for America in every matter
of policy, without regard to their
preferences for this alliance or that,
that made Admas fling them off as a
British faction.

[signature]
Woodrow Wilson.
TOMORROW
Defeat of the Federalists
_______________________________________________________________
[return to column 4, bottom section]

Palmetto Press
Fake Medicines.

It is rather a reflection on the com-
mon sense of lots of Americans that
so many fall easy victims to swindlers
of various kinds. Official statements
show that through advertised fake
cures for every ailment under the
sun, and through get-rich-quick
schemes and many other swindles, not
forgetting our old friend—the Span-
ish prisoner—hundreds of millions of
dollars have in the past few years
been taken from their gullible own-
ers. A well known showman of for-
mer days once said that "Americans
like to be humbugged." That, of
course, was an exaggeration, but evi-
dently many of them do.—Orange-
burg Times.
----------o----------
To the End.

The war in Europe is an unmitigat-
ed horror, but it will have to be
fought out to the bitter end if peace
is to be permanent. Any termina-
tion of the conflict that is not dictate-
ed by the combatants themselves
would amount to little more than a
[truce?] until one or the other felt able
to renew the war with the prospect
of winning a decisive victory. Since
the war has gone to the length it has
the neutral nations and peace enthu-
siasts should be hands off until Ger-
man kaiser has subjugated Europe
or has been utterly crushed. There
can be no peace in the world until
the issue between imperialism and
democracy has been fought out—to a
finish.—Watchman and southron.
----------o----------
Beware of Fire.

The recent cool weather which has
come upon the people of the South
has made them think of their heaters
and the fireplaces have been busy for
the past few days. The coal man and
the wood man have both been busy
and the people who have had light-
[wood?] for sale have found a good
market. There have been a few fires
in the city, not withstanding the long
time we have been without fires, and
the carelessness of many both in the
builder of fires and caring for the
[cut off]

[column 5, bottom section]

What Others Say.
The Immigrant's Right to Work.

On the first day of November, the
supreme court of the United States
decided that a state has no right to
forbid the employment of a work-
man because he is an alien. On the
last day of November, the same court
decided that a state has the right to
forbid the employment of the alien work-
men.

The first case concerned the Ari-
zona law, which prohibited the em-
ployment of more than a small per-
centage of aliens for any purpose by
any citizen. The court annulled the
law, on the ground that it took away
the right to earn a living which is
implied in the admission of aliens to
our country and guaranteed by our
foreign treaties. It declared that the
state cannot sanction discrimination
against aliens by private employers.

The second case involved the New
York law, which prohibits the em-
ployment of any aliens on public
works. In upholding this law, the su-
preme court apparently rules that the
state as an employer can do what its
citizens as employers cannot do.

It is rather puzzling to a layman.
It's hard to see any difference in the
principle of the two problems. There's
a practical difference, however. If
the state refuses to give an alien
work, he can presumably get a job
somewhere else, whereas if all private
companies refuse him work, he is
helpless. But suppose the state should
take over all industries, as the so-
cialists urge, and thus become the sole
employer? What about the rights of
aliens then?—Augusta Chronicle.
----------o----------
Mr. Ford's Peace Party.

Henry Ford's millions have gone to
his head. The fact that a man can
make a cheap automobile is not ne-
cessarily a qualification for becoming
a world leader and showing all the
belligerents how much pleasanter
and cheaper peace is than war. His
[blurry] party of pacifists will
not be any more successful than Jane
Addams and her convention of women.
There is nothing that either can tell
[cut off]

[column 6 & 7, top section]

VEST POCKET ESSAY
The Weather

By GEORGE FITCH
Author of "At Good Old S
Copyrighted by George Mathew[s]

THE weather is the starting
[crank?] of the world's conversa-
tion. If there were no weather
to talk about, half of us would only
be able to converse when we found
something to say, and would conse-
quently be dumb a large part of the
time.

The weather is what the atmos-
phere hands to us from day to day.
All weather is produced by atmos-
phere. When the air is clear, we have
a fine day, and the fact is mentioned
$1,000,000,000,000 times in the conversa-
tion. When the atmosphere is curdled,
we have clouds and rain which are
just as easy to talk about and use up
a large vocabulary. When the atmos-
phere moves swiftly from place to
place, we have gales and cyclones and
political campaigns. When the atmos-
phere is heated, to a trifle below the
boiling point by the sun, a man will
leave his work and walk five blocks in
order to lean against a friend in a
cool, clinky place and help him say,
"Phew!"

The weather accounts for most of
the variety in life on this sphere. It
is weather which makes a Hottentot
content with a suit of clothes which
he can fold up and put in his car
while bathing, and it is weather which
makes the Eskimo eject the polar
bear from his warm, furry skin and
move in himself to stay continuously
until he dies. In England's weather
and the wide range of description re-
quired to do it justice, which has
made the nation the literary center
of the world. It is the six months of
superheated Texas weather which
makes a Texan fight in September at
the [wigge?] of a whisker, and it is the
celebrated tepid climate of California
which enables the native son to reap
four crops of tourists a year.

Weather is divided into four sea-
sons in the temperate zone—light
overcoat, shirt-sleeves, thicker under-
wear and ear-tab weather. Weather

[article continues on column 7, top section]

is responsible for a great
lionaires, including coal mer[chants],
summer resort proprietors, [make-]
ers of sneeze cures and thro
But it also unmakes a gro
rich men, including circus

[political cartoon depicting J. P. Morgan]
Mr. J. P.Morgan was small
beside the weather

peach growers and chicken
Mr. J. P. Morgan was sup[posed to]
boss a large part of creation
was small potatoes bes[ide the]
weather, which exercies a
ling influence over baseball,
the clothing business, para
nice, county fairs and summe[r]
It also casts the deciding [vote]
many elections and can tie [up the]
road system more thoroughly [than a]
dozen walking delegates. [On the]
whole, weather must be an
able thing. We never hear [about]
weather in heaven, while hol
posed to consist almost en
climate.

[column 6 & 7, middle section]

HEALTH TALKS
By WILLIAM BRADY
"Setting and Knitting"

FROM the title of this item you
might imagine it is all about
grandma and her habits, but
such is not the case. It is about
broken bones.

Everybody who has the misfortune
to have a bone fractured knows, or
thinks he knows, that two things are
essential parts of the surgeon's treat-
ment. First, the fracture must be
"set," and then it must be held per-
fectly rigid until the ninth day, when
by some mysterious force of Nature's
the two or more fragments suddenly
seize hold of one another and com-
mence to "knit," or grow together.

No newspaper account of an in-
dividual instance of fracture is con-
sidered complete without the conven-
tional statement that "Dr. Blank was
summoned and reduced the fracture."

As a matter of fact Dr. Blank usu-
ally requires anywhere from a few days
to two weeks to "set" or reduce
the fracture. For instance, in a case
of fractured femur (thigh bone) or
fractured hip, it is practically im-
possible to bring the broken ends in
contact within a week or ten days,
though every effort is put forth by
the surgeon to do so. The only way
in which such a fracture can be im-
mediately reduced is by cutting down
upon the broken bone and wiring or
nailing the fragments together. This
is a procedure that is being followed
more and more frequently these days.

The reason a fractured femur re-
sists "setting" so long is that the
great muscels are in a state of con-
tinual contraction which cannot be
forcibly overcome without the aid of
an anesthetic. Steady, gradual pull
on the [blurry], however, will finally coax
the spasmodic muscles to release the
fragments, and so, after a week or
more, the broken ends are brought

[article continues on column 7, middle section]

practically in contact.

Meanwhile the process of
formation has gone forward [from the]
very instant of the injury. [If]
there is a blood clot; this slowly
ens, "organizes" as doctors
comes permeated by newly
blood vessels, which carry
to the clot. So that, by the
facture is really "set," the
just beginning to develop so[me carti-]
lage, and then new bone.

There is no more "knitting" [after the]
ninth or tenth day than
on the second or the thirtie[st]
we might say that the "
of a broken bone is usually a
process too.

Splints are commonly supp[lied to]
hold broken bones in placde. [With]
comparatively few exceptions [they]
are employed only to support
tissues and keep the muscles
while the fragments are
Some fractures are better
without splints at all. The
inspection of broken bones
that this is true.

QUESTIONS AND ANSW[ERS]

Cook writes:—I have a
varicose ulcer which has ref[used to]
heal for eight years. I hav[e tried]
everything under the sun, but [noth-]
ing does any good; in fact
salves irritate it. Now you
varicose ulcers can be heale[d. How]
can I get mine healed?

Answer—By calling in a go[od up-]
to-date doctor, one ho has [had]
hospital experience if possib[le]
placing yourelf entirely under
control. "Salves" will never
Your case calls for surgical
ment, not guesswork. You p
require more or less genera[lly]
healing.

Dr. Brady will answer all questions pertaining to health. [If some]
question is of general interest it will be answered through these [columns.]
If not it will be answered personally if stamped, addressed envelope [is en-]
closed. Dr. Brady will not prescribe for individual diagnoses or make di[agnoses.]
Address all letters to Dr. William Brady care of The Daily [Piedmont,]
Greenville, S. C.

[column 6 & 7, bottom section]

FLASHES OF FUN

He Got There.

The man was reading the front
page of the newspaper as he walked
across the busy street.

"Gee," he mused, "I'd like to get my
name in big type on the front age
of a newspaper."

Just then a street car bumped into
the man.

He got his name on the front page
of the next edition of the paper. But
he missed the story.
----------o----------
Told What He Wanted.

The newly arrived citizen from
Italy was trying his best to buy a
colander, but could not make the
clerk understand what he wanted.
The clerk showed him several kinds
of pans, but at each he shook his
head. Finally he got an idea.

"Give-a me dis-n kind," he said;
"Ze water go ahead, ze macaroni
stop."
----------o----------
Not Exactly Leap Year.

"I like to see a smart, well-educat-
ed woman," said young DeSapp, "but
I wouldn't marry one who knows more
than I do." "Too bad," rejoined Miss
Swift. "I'm sorry to hear that you
intend to remain a bachelor all your
life."—Indianapolis Star.
----------o----------
Explicit.

"Are you of the opinion, Jones,"
asked a slim-looking man of his com-
panion, "that Dr. Smith's medicine
dos any good?"

"Not unless you follow the direc-
tions."

"What are the directions?"

"Keep the bottle tightly corked."
----------o----------
Try It Any Way.

"You can't improve on Nature
[cut off]

[article continues on column 7, bottom section]
----------o----------
For Immediate Use.

An old Rip Van Winkle of a [man]
went into a country drug sto[re and]
asked for some powder.

"Face, gun or bug?" ask[ed the]
clerk, leaning far over the co[unter.]

"Bug," replied the old man
ne'an to mind about wrappin'
just blow it on my whiskers.
----------o----------
The Censor's Kindness.

"Have you been reading the
news?" "Yes, replied Miss C
"And I must say one thing.
censors. They have done eve[rything]
in human power to spare o
ings by making the terrors of [night as]
uninteresting as possible.—[Wash-]
ington Star.
----------o----------
Advice.

Here's some advice both
sound

That you should oft repeat:
While love may make the w[orld go]
'round
It won't make both ends me[et.]
—Cincinnati Enq[uirer].
----------o----------
Misplaced

Seargent to Tommy (who had
run out for the fourth time)—
[blurry] do again? You know you [should]
never have joined this ar
ment, me lad. You ought to
joined the flying corps.
let you fall out once there!—
[blurry]
----------o----------
"Some" Magician.

Buck—Did you know that [woman]
was a magician?
Luck—No. That's news [to me.]
What stunts can she do?
Buck—She can make money
ear.
----------o----------