gcls_campsevier_059

TRENCH AND CAMP

"THE BARRACKS WHEEZE"
______

BY PRIVATE CHET SHAFER
(310th Sanitary Train, Camp Custer,
Battle Creek, Mich.)

Nothing
Is
Quite
So
Disconcering
To the
Conscientious,
Well-meaning
Private
Than
To
Unlimber
A
Snappy
Salute
Before
Discovering
That the
Leathern
Putts
Attracting
His
Attention
Are
Housing
The
Calves
Of
Another
Private.
_______

Someone marks up a lotof also
rans every time a hike is finished in
double time.
_______

Devere said the only snaps he had
been able to locate in the army held
down the cover of his gas-mask bag.
________

MILITARY DEFINITIONS
Review---The Army Once-Over.
_________

The "fatiguer" was reading a letter
from the girl.
"Oh, Eben!" it ran, "I will be so
anxious to see you in your uniform.
My, but I'll bet you are handsome!"
Eben shiffted his glance over to the
suit of Blue Denims.
"And she gets her ideas from the
covers of the magazines."
_________

JIM. ANOTHER INVETERATE
FATIGUER, AVERRED THAT HIS
O'D'S WERE HIS O. DENIMS.
_________

Tubby said his wrist watch didn't
keep good time---it was too fast.
________

Even the fellow who knows the
buttonhook puzzle by heart, and is
a shark at sums and no slouch on
decimals is having his troubles
solving the gas-mask.
_________

BUT NO SOLDIER IS BURNING
ANY MIDNIGHT OIL OVER AN IN-
COME TAX STATEMENT.
________

Money talks, but it seldom enters
into and army conversation.
________

War recognizes two great authori-
ties in Moss and Hoyle.
________

SECOND LIEUTENANTS ARE DE-
PLOYMENT AGENCIES.
_________

VIRTUE IS REWARDED IF HARD
WORK HITS SAFELY OVER
SECOND.

________

Some fellows' idea of philanthro-
phy is helping two pairs.
________

When the order comes this year to---
________

"Swat the fly"
_________

It will be done in four counts.
__________

Not
All
Of
The
"Hard
Guys"
Come
From
Flint,
Mich.
_________

In writing home your first letter
after arrival, the following terms may
be used advantageously in telling of
your assignment:
Installed in the infantry.
Arranged in the artillery.
Cached in the cavalry.
Holed in the hospital.
Anchored in the ambulance.
Allotted to the aviation.
Ordained in the ordance.
Moored with the machine gun.
Asked into the ammunition.
Billed for the ballon end
And
Quipped for the Q. M.
___________

A quarantine is about as welcome
as a countermanded order.
_______

DEATH, AS A LEVELER. HAS AN
EFFICIENT AIDE IN KITCHEN
POLICE.

NO DOUBT WHATEVER

Cartoon

SENTRY---"Halt! Who goes there?"
HE OF THE HANDBAG---"None of your business. Close
your trap or I'll smear you all over the landscape. Dyagitme?"
SENTRY---"Pass, friend."
_____________________________________________________________________

LEARN FRENCH
LESSON 3
The French vowel sounds, as studied
in Lessons 1 and 2, are as follows:

English French
Sound example example
a father la
e' met lait
'e fate caf'e
ee beet oui
o softer donnez
oh go eau
oo boot vous
uh fe(r)n de
u (lips as for
oo, tongue du
as for ee)
ah franc
a angry sinq
uh un
o bon

In the last four, the "nasal" vowels
the breath comes out through nose
and mouth at the same time.
The French have one consonant
sound that is rather rare in English,
the buzzing sound of si in the
vision. This sound will be represented
by zh. It occurs three times in the
name of the great French marshal,
Joseph Jacques Joffre, pronounced
zhohzef zhah zhofr.

WORDS AND PHRASES
French Pronunciation Meaning
j'ai, zh e', I have
il a, eel a, he has
nous avons, nooz avo, we have
vous avez, vooz ave', you have
ils ont, eelz o, they have
avez-vous; ave' voo? have you?
un couteau, uh kootoh, a knife
un verre, uh ver, a glass
un journal, uh zhoornal, a newspaper
une fourchette, unfoorshet, a fork
une tasse, un tas, a cup
une marchande, un marshandk a (Wo-
man) dealer
une piece de deux francs, un pyes duh
duh frag, a two-franc piece.
la monnaie de, la mone duh, change
for (a coin or bill)
bonjour, bozhoor, good morning, good
day
au revoir oh rvwar, good-bye
madame, madam, madam
combien? kobya? how much?
voila, vwala, there is, there it is
mais, me, but
non no no
Notice that before some words "a"
is un uh, while before other words if
is une, un. All words before which it
is un, uh, are called "masculine
words," and all those before which it
is une, un, are called "feminine
words."

EXERCISE

1. Try to understand these sen-
tences, and pronounce them carefully:
J'ai un couteau, il a deux couteaux
(the plural of French nouns usually
sounds like the singular; the final s
or x is silent), nous avons trois
couteaux, vonus avez quatre couteaux
ils ont cinq couteaux.
2. Make up other similar sen-
tences, using other nouns.
3. Avez-vous un couteau et une
fourchette? Oui, madame, j'ai deux
couteaux et deux fourchettes, et un
verre. Avez-vous une piece de deux
francs? Non, mais j'ai une piece de
deux sous. Ils ont du pain et de la
viande. Nous avons du cafe, du lait
et du sucre.
4. Voila une marchande de jour-
naux (a newspaper dealer). Bonjour,
madame. Bonjour, monsieur. Donnez-
moi un journal, madame, s'il vous
plait. Voila, monsieur. Combien?
Trois sous, monsieur. Avez-vous la
monnaie d'une piece de deux francs?
Oui, monsieur; voila. Merci, madame.
Au revoir.
Cut this lesson out and keep it, and
watch for Lesson 4 next week!
_____________________________________

SURPASSING SKILL SHOWN

Although French bomb throwing
experts consider sixty yards a good
distance to hurl a hand grenade with
accuracy, large numbers of American
soldiers in the trenches have demon-
strated their ability to throw them
ninety yards and hit the objective
three times out of five. Shot putting
and throwing the discus materially
aids soldiers in hurling grenades and
these two field events probably will
be given prominence on the athletic
programmes in the various training
camps in the United States during the
spring and summer.

___________________________________

PRECIOUS POSITION
Voice from the Distance----Fall
back ye daft loons! Your poseetion
is of nae value at a'!
Chorus of Kilties---Nae value?
Why, mon, we've just drapt a sax-
pence!---Passing Show.
______________

BIGGEST FLAG?
What is said to be the biggest Am-
erican flag ever made was recently ex-
hibited in Brooklyn, N. Y. It is 250
feet long and 156 feet high. Each of
the red and white stripes in it is
twelve feet wide and the stars are six
feet in diameter.
____________________________________

EXTRAORDINARY HEROISM
WINS COVERED D.S.C.
_________

History will record the fact that a
lieutenant and twi sergeants in the
Rainbow Division were the first sol-
diers to win the new American deco-
ration known as the Distinguished
Service Cross. From the account the
American soldiers have been giving
of themselves "Over There," these
three men will undoubtedly head a
long list of American soldiers deco-
rated by their own country, as well as
our allies, for conspicuous bravery.
Already more than 100 American sol-
diers have received War Crosses or
Crosses With Palms from the French
Government.
The first three men awarded the
Distinguished Service Cross were
Lieutenant John O. Green, Sergeant
William Norton and Sergeant Patrick
Walsh.
The new bronze cross was awarded
them in the name of the President of
the United States, commander-in-chief
of the army, for "extraordinary hero-
ism in connection with military opera-
tions against an armed enemy of the
United States."
Lieutenant Green is an artillery
officer. He had been wounded by an
enemy hand grenade and was lying
in a dugout. A party of Germans sur-
rounded the dugout and ordered him
to surrender. He refused to do so,
returned the fire of the party, wound-
ing one member and put the remainder
to flight.
Sergeant Norton, finding himself in
a dugout entirely surrounded by Ger-
mans who were hurling grenades at
him, refused to surrender and made
a bold dash outside, killing a German
lieutenant and two soldiers. He saved
the commpany's logbook, containing
considerable valuable information.
Sergeant Walsh, of Chicago, fol-
lowed his company commander to the
first lines in spite of a severe barrage.
The captain being killed, Sergeant
Walsh took charge of a detachment of
American soldiers and attacked a su-
perior number of Germans, inflicting
severe losses on the enemy. In the
recommendation made by the general
commanding the division of which
Sergeant Walsh is a member the fol-
lowing sentence appeared: "Although
of advanced age, he (Walsh) refused
to leave the front."
Sergeant Walsh was detailed by
General Pershing as orderly to Secre-
tary of War Baker upon the letter's
arrival in France."
_________________

FRANCE CALLS TO ME
I.
Across the sea
There comes the call
Of France to me.
I hear the muffled, tender sound
Of little children, underground,
Denied, bereft of everything:
The right to play, to learn and sing.
Dear little child
Across the sea,
I'll come to sing
And play with thee.

II.
From over there,
I hear the call
From France in prayer:
The women calling for their mate,
Now widowed by the Huns of Hate;
Brides, homeles, childless, all alone
Are brooding o'er a pile of stone.
Heroic souls,
I'll come to share
Thy bitter grief,
And blind despair.

III.
From over sea,
There comes sad sound
From France to me:
The painful plea of broken bells,
Now shattered by Satanic shells;
The war-sick wind, that wails and
whines
Through battered walls of sacred
shtines.
O House of Prayer,
Where God's yet found,
I'll help to heal
Thy wicked wound.

IV.
Beyond the Seine,
I hear the cry
Of France in pain:
The shrieks form shell-hole, trench
and wire,
Men crazed by gas and liquid fire:
Dumb agonies from No-Man's Land,
Low groans beneath the surgeon's hand.
O stricken land,
Where evils reign,
Thy call to me
Is not in vain.
HARRY WEBB FAIRINGTON
________________

FINE! FINE! FINE

"The are looking fine, feeling fine
and doing fine." This is the reply an
American officer made when asked
upon his return from France how the
boys in khaki were getting along
"Over There."