1

New York Autust 15, 1800

I had been expecting a letter from you for a long time, my dear Margaret, before your welcomed one arrived. Do send me the two sheets you had written, you can not wound my feelings by a mere development of your own. I think I can conjecture the long conversation to which you allude. Was it not the night we walked in the wind by the long grass and the cherry trees at your brothers.

Recollect dear Margaret, how I have received your communication. It was with such painful difficulty you made it, that I believe my apparent insensibility surprized you. Yet the manner of my receiving it did not flow from that source. I feel my faults very keenly; though they may sometimes be hidden from my view. Yet, when a friendly hand under the veil of concealment, I recognize them with pain indeed, and with salutary pain and respond with more affection the benevolent being who by disclosing my error pointed out the path to amendment.

But in this last communication this was not the case. I did not feel much pain, because I could not realize the existence of what you mentioned. I was sorry that such was your opinion, since you in some degree apprehensive that I might be self deceived, but M was nearing when compared to what I should have offered had my conscience accorded me of a vice I so much detest as selfishness.

Why did I hesitate to write it, can that be a proof that I have some portion