Margaret_Bayard_Smith_to_Unknown_undated

Wednesday

Yesterday I had almost finished a note in answer to yours, but [ere?] quite finished my husband was off - This morning I made another attempt, but he again anticipated me - I am de termined now not to put off per this hurried breakfast hour, any notes I may have to send by him.

I am sorry my dear friend, to see you indulge yourself in such gloomy thoughts - I say indulge - for there is a pleasure and luxury in some bad thoughts - but they do no good to the departed & much injury to the one left behind - Melancholy not only incapacitates us for enjoyment but after a while its physical affects so injure the health & disorders the nerves, as to render us incapable of discharing the duties of life & if long continued makes us a burthen to our selves & others- By a timely resistance we may prevent these [fatal?] effects.

The difficulty of the matter is that few people will believe that melancholy can be resisted- they think it a thing over which they have no power & let it take its course.

Now this is not the fact. It is a disease of the mind & is as much under the control of reason, as our bodily diseases are of the Physi cian- There are moral as well as physical remedies, if we would but use them. Restrain thought, as you do appetite- give it not what it craves, but what will do it good- Banish those ideas which are painful, by fixing the mind on those which are cheerful; think of what is to come instead of looking back on the past. Hope never forsakes us; cherish, then hope for the future, instead of yielding to useless regret. "But these little petty vexations of every days recurrence" you will say, "disorder my mind and perturb my spirits."- They are I acknowledge more difficult to bear and to struggle against than [heavier?] afflictions, but still much may be done by resolute exertion to resist their influence on our temper & feelings Reflect on their temporary character- a year hence, perhaps a month hence they will be of no consequence & will make

no difference in our condition Their power to vex us, is not derived from their own strength, but from our weakness & by conquering that weakness & irritability & sensibility we deprive them of their [story?].

On this point I speak from experi ence - I have by nature a most ex citable frame & irritable temper - the slightest oppostion or vexation will produce a tremour through my whole body & excite such quick & strong and painful emotion.- This produces such continual uneasiness, as to destroy my power of enjoying the [ ? ] blessings of my lot. I resolutely set about the business & have in a great measure succeedded- The little domestic cares & vexations that used to vex & irritate me - have lost the power of so doing - "They shall not fret me'' I have said & made them yield to my will as a rider does a wild unmanageable horse- It can be done- So my dear friend set yourself to the task & force your mind from the influence of the vexations of life.- Its sorrows, have not so destructive an effect on comfort & happiness- for as I said before there is even luxury in sorrows I perceive with regret, your general health, but particularly, your nervous system is already suffering- Pray struggle against your feelings & troubles & let them not bring on that greatest of afflictions - nervous debility - Oh the nerves

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when I assure you, I preferred yours & your mother's & that I know very few for whose company I would forego yours.- You & Mrs. Bomford stand to me in the place of the sisters from whom I am separated, & in all places & at all times are valued & welcome visitorsand your mother, seems as if she were my mother too- No other persons in the city excite so warm & lively an interest- I feel as if you were relations as well as friends - you do not come to see us, half as often as we wish & you cannot come oftener than you will be welcome.

The change in the weather has made us all feel better & I hope will have the same effect on you. It will at least add to your comfort by laying the dust.- All we wanted these rainy days, was a new novel & as this was unattainable I set about writing one- [a?] story at least & this so completely [ ? ] the lapse of time yesterday, that when the carriage drove to the door at 4 o clock, I thought it was not more than 12- Today I have been [reading?] my old [books ? ]. adieu, accept the kindest wishes of your sincere friend MHS