Lucy (Chapter_15)

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Chapter 15

The brightest things below the sky Give but a flattering light we should suspect some danger nigh When we possess delight. Watts

Such repeated disappointments quite overcame Lucy's resolution to seek her support by her own labour, and she was often tempted to return into the country, and beg for some place of shelter from one of her former neighbours. But there is a sentiment in the human bosom common alike to rich and poor, which prompts as in dishonor or poverty, to shun those who knew us in our better days; in their eyes, we feel the humiliation of the present, more painfully, contrasted as it must be with recollections of the past. In the presence of strangers, we are spared this mortification, and while receiving the alms we have solicited, or writhing under the scorn of the proud, or the repulse of unkindness, it has been a consolation; which only those can estimate who have fallen into penury and disgrace, yes, a great consolation to say "no one knows who I am". For this identity, clings to us in every reverse of fortune; and the beggar who was once a gentleman, { ?} what no one else would guess, and feels a support from this internal consciousness

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and happiness, where those on whom she had once looked down, might now look down on her, and where the dependence on old neighbours would continually remind her of the days of her equality. Several cold stormy days, had kept her at home, and prevented a continuation of her researches. The snow covered the ground and made the way across the commons wholly impassable. Thus unavoidably confined to Richard's narrow hearth, Lucy had patiently to bear with Becky's ill-humour, and to eat the morsel grudged her by the half-starved children. She was often tempted to refuse sharing in their scanty meal; but a look at her poor babe who depended for its life, on her life, induced her to take

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during these stormy days; in manufacturing out of the old clothes that had been given her, some articles of dress that would be acceptable to Becky. She retained the coarsest and most worn for her infant and from the finest and best, made some neat caps, which while they gratified the vanity, pacified the ill humour of her hostess. "Rarely now miss Lucy, that is quite gentill and I shan't be ashamed to go to methodist- meeting now I have such a nice cap," said Becky as she tried it on and looked at herself in the bit of broken looking-glass that was stuck in the wall. Little sacrifices of this kind, Lucy thought more than repaid, by a kind word or look, which at this time were so necessary to her sinking spirits that before the long storm was over she had stripped herself of the greatest part of the loathing designed for herself and child, and had not the return of good weather released her from this species of imprisonment, she would in a few more days have been as destitute as ever. But the clouds broke away; the snow ceased to fall; and a bright warm sun burst forth to liberate and cheer the dispirited Lucy. She could not be insensible to the renovation

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to fall; and a bright warm sun burst forth to liberate and cheer the dispirited Lucy. She could not be insensible to the renovating influence of the fine weather, which binds and beats and every living thing seemed to feel. The dogs, that during the pelting of the storm, had crept with the children round the fire, now bounded over the plain, pursued by the gladsome children; like them, they rolled in the snow, lept into the air and chased each other in wide circles round the common. The birds, mistaking the warmth for that of returning spring, twittered on the naked sprays and hopped about the door to partake of the grain thrown to the chickens; and troops of poor children came to the slashes to collect brush-wood. Their young voices mingled their merry tones, with the chirping of the birds, like them, common of nature, they enjoyed her present smiles, unthinking of her future { ?}. Yes, Lucy felt the kindly influence; she made her appearance as decent as she could; the warmth of the weather was such that she could dispense with her tattered cloak, and thus freed her from that look of squalid poverty, which in more than one instance had been prejudicial to her, and with hopes influenced by the brightness of the day she sallied forth in quest of a livelihood. The morning was far spent, and the many repulses she had met at the houses where she applied, had again sunk her to the lowest depth of despondancy,--still, while she could drag on her wearied steps, she determined to persevere. At a little

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distance from the avenue, she saw an elegant house, surrounded with a garden, thither she turned, but by the time she reached it, she was so exhausted that she had to sit down on a stone that was lying outside of the garden, which was enclosed with hollys, through which she saw what was passing within the enclosure. The garden was full of evergreen shrubs, which contrasted with the glittering snow gave it a gay appearance--on the south side of the mansion was a large green-house; the grasses were raised, and discovered a collection of bright and beautiful flowers, glowing amidst the dark green of myrtles and orange-trees etc. A lovely young woman, surrounded by three charming little children was busily employed in arranging the plants, -- some of which were removed to stand in the gravel walk, to give a freer admittance of air to others--She was singing gaily at her task, and tripping lightly from one box to another, plucking now a flower, now a leaf which she flung to the children as they eagerly followed her, laughing and prattling, and

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