Page 32

Volunteer Article read by Mary Moore Miller - July 1972

THE FORTY - NINERS PLANT AN ASPARAGUS BED - SPRING, 1972

One day the Ancient Farmer decided that he needed a new asparagus patch; so he
looked up the subject of planting one in the Garden Encyclopedia.

The first thing you do is dig a trench 35 feet longby 2 1/2 feet wide and 18
inches deep. Now this is no small undertaking if you have land that is 50% stone. So,
you do it bit by bit over a span of three days.

This ancient farmer carried off to the woods four large wheelbarrow load of rocks,
the largest being football sizedown to cucumber size, more or less.

So, then the book says, you go to the store and buy 25 healthy - looking plants.
Then you need at least three bushel of very potant cow manure, which will henceforth
be referred to as " the genuine " ( long ias in wine ) stuff, so called delicately by
a Japanese - American gardener employed next door back in the '40's. So, how to get the
"genuine stuff", say you, when you have no cows? Ah, this problem is easily solved.
You take two galvanized iron busheltubs in the trunk of the Ancient Farmer's car and
go in hot pursuit into the deep country of Pennsylvania. After several miles of enjoying
the pale green foliage andblossoming trees of the Springtime you come down to
reality and remember what you have come for.

Oh, ho, here comes a farmer with a tractor. Hail him and make him stop and answer
questions - " Who and where is a farmerwho will give or sell us some " genuine stuff"?

"Right here", says he with a smile, "Drive right into the barnyard over yonder
and help yourself."

So toward his farm we went admiring the beauty of his tree-lined lane, his field
of grazing cattle and paddock of horses with thei baby colts. Across the rolling hills
the woods are all the shades of new growth, some fields are bright green with wheat,
some are ploweed for the corn planting. - Oh, yes, you suddenly remeber what you came
for and "bang" goes your dream of heaven on earth. So, you open big white gates carefully
and enter the pungentbarnyard where there are tones of the "genuine stuff",
waiting to be scattered on fields ( we hope ) or waiting for neighbors to shovel up.
So, that's what they did next. One bushel of "genuine stuff" is just about enough for
the Ancient Farmerand his Ancient Wife to lift - " one, two, three, ugh ", into the car
trunk, but they did it!

About 20 feet above their heard they heard a continual humming and looking up
saw the world's most wicked hornets going in and out from a nest under the eaves of
the barn. They hoped they wouldn't object to their taking some of the pungent atmosphere
away and lucky for the Ancient Farmer and his Ancient wife, they didn't.

Well, home they went. With the help of the wheelbarrow and more grunts and groans
they carried the stuff to the edge of the pit. The, they shovelled it in, spreading a
layer, which sounds easy until you do it!! The, you add 6 inches of the more or less
rockless soil. The, you look at the homely spindley little asparagus plants. They look
like crabswith long wavy legs and claws. These legs are rootsthoughand must be spread
out. How do you do this? You have to do itwith your hands - but the roots won't stay
spread put when you let go/. So. there's nothing for it but the Ancient Wife must get
down on her hands and knees, fortunately in her most ancient bluejeans, and
hold the roots spread out while the Ancient Farmer throws on the soil, right over
her hands and arms and splashing a few grains of topsoil on face, glasses, and down the
front of her blouse. She scrambles along, backing up, holding the next plant's roots
spread until the total of 25 are held down. The, she departs for the battub and leaves the Ancient Frmer to finish filling in the trench. But it is too much for one, day, so
it continued the next. Then the rains came and gave this delectable garden patch a
good wetting which saved the Ancient Farmer and his now clean and refreshed Ancient Wife from a watering job. Then it's the Farmer's turn for the hot water and all is well/.
Nothing to do but wait until 1973 to see if any of it was worth while!

Signed by this author "A.W." meaning Ancient Wife
Written in honor of the 49 years of conjugal cooperation. Laurence & Sally Stabler