Walters Ms. W.13, Synonyms of Isidore of Seville

always they pour forth pus at my sides, my torn limbs dissolve with putrefaction, blood flows with tears, and tears trickle with blood. It is not only the blood of tears but also of wounds, I am consumed with miserable pain, in pain, both my mind and body fail. My mind is now conquered, my soul is closed by grief. I have experienced many unbearable things, endured many bitter hardships, and suffered many heavy burdens, I have never received such a grave and cruel wound, I have been struck down by an unexpected wound, I have been struck by a momentary death, suddenly thrown into such great miseries of life, overwhelmed in ignorance, sudden calamity, and unexpected fall and death have overwhelmed me. Why was I born unlucky? Why was I cast into this miserable life? Why, miserable one, did I see this light?

Why does the birth of this life come upon me, miserable one? If only I could depart from this world as soon as possible, exhausted, even though I have already departed by reason, longing to die, I would already have the freedom to fall. For to live is a weariness to me, a desire to die, but alas! Death, awaited by the wretched, comes slowly. Oh death, how sweet you are to the miserable! How pleasant you are to those who love life! How joyful you are, O death, to the sad and mournful! Therefore, let the great evil of life be followed by the great solace of death, let there be a limit to life, the conclusion of so many evils, let rest in the tomb grant an end to misery. and if not life, at least let death begin to show mercy, let death put an end to all evils, let death provide a limit to calamity, let death take away all calamity.

It is better to die well than to live poorly, it is better not to exist than to exist unhappily. In comparison to my miseries, it is clear that the dead are happier than the living ones. Spare my pain, I beg you, spare my grief, I beg you, forgive my distress, grant me pardon, indulge my sorrows, in such great sorrow, do not be moved against me. For I mourn my affliction, I deplore my calamity, I grieve the familiar disaster of my misery. For pain provides many more afflictions. I, miserable, cannot be comforted, I am impatient with my pain, my grief is boundless, my wound is in no way soothed, there is no end to my tears, no end to my sorrows. Now there is no confidence in my soul, it can no longer endure, now my spirit, overcome by miseries, falls.

REASON: What makes you doubt your mind so much, O man? Why do you weaken your mind so much? Why do you scatter your thoughts? Why do you lose all confidence in hope? Why do you succumb to such great timidity? Why do you break so easily in adversity? Abandon sadness, cease to be sorrowful, drive away sorrow from yourself, do not yield to grief, do not indulge too much in sorrow, repel pain from your heart, exclude pain from your soul, restrain the onslaught of sorrow, do not persist in grief, overcome the pain of your spirit, conquer the pain of your mind. MAN: How? In what way? By what means? In what manner? With what reasoning? With what skill? With what plan? With what ingenuity? REASON: With every effort, with all strength, with all skill, with all reasoning, with all counsel,

with all ingenuity, with all virtue, with all zeal. Take up the struggle against temporal troubles, be steadfast in all circumstances, patiently endure all things, tolerate all adversities with a calm soul. Do not focus only on your individual situation, your bitterness is not the only one to be weighed by you, your calamity is not the only one to be considered by you. Look at similar cases of others, pay attention to the miseries of those to whom something bitter has happened, and while you remember the dangers of others, you bear your own more mildly. For the examples of others alleviate grief, and the misfortunes of others more easily console a person. Why do you lament so bitterly your most severe fate? Why do you mourn so much the causes of your danger? Your torments are not new, you have examples of calamities. How many such hardships, how many such dangers, have they endured?