Gould letters

[letter] Dec. 10, 1931

Dear Folks:

I gues that a letter is inorder from me about this time. It is only ten o'clock tonight and I have done all the work that I'm going to do for today, so I'll just write a letter. I'm sort of tired so this probably wont be very long.

I've been plenty busy this week. The hist. class had to read Franklin's Autobiography as extra work, and I went to get it last Sat. but all the coppies were sold in the book store, the coppies in the lib. were in use and those in the Paly Lib. were out. Well, to make a long story short I was finally able to get the one coppy from the reserve bookroom, last night and the night before last. You cant get this till 10 so I have been reading till twelve and 1;30 on these last two nights to get through it. I did so Hist. is over (Except the final.) Comp is all done. and By reading Psych all afternoon adn till now that is done. I have a C average in that but am scared of the final, so am taking in a seminar for $2. Econ. will be through tomorrow when I get all my reading done.

Sis and Dixie Ryall are coming down with me in the car a week from tomorrow. That and the fact that I ordered some picutre for Xmas seem to be the news. Oh, it is raining swell right now and has been all afternoon. My stationary is just about to give out so I'm saving it incase of immergancy. Thank Grannie for her clipping. And wish Dad happy birthday.

Dick [envelope] Thos Gould Jr. R. D. 2 Box 10 Ventura, Calif.

Thursday

Oct 12 1933

Dear little Richard-

So many things crowd my mind I don't know where to begin or in what order to proceed. First of all, this is just my opinion, I wont even call it advice - for you know you're both of age & when it comes to making an engage -ment public that's up to Louise + her mother - we have nothing to do with it, therefore we appreciate the consider -ation.

About making the engagement public I've consulted Emily + would advise you go to a public library & get "Etiquette" & read Chpt XIX p 298. First of all (p 89) she says "some one some where asked whether or not to answer an engraved card announcing an engagement. The answer can have nothing to do with etiquette, since an engraved announcement is unknown in good society." "The announcement should be made by the parents of the bride elect. This is done intimately by note & publicly thru the newspapers + verbally to friends individually or collectively." "A dinner or other entertainment given to announce an engagement is by no means

necessary, & the news of the [?] engagement travels by word of mouth"

Just this morning I said to Dad - I thot it would be nice if you & Lyon & Louise can make public your engagement at the Senior Breakfast like Virginia & Ben. That seems to be the approved word & accepted time as there's always a list in list in the first issue of the Review of accouncements made then. I hoped you'd be able to get [?] that "old college custom"- and - and I still do. From this, you know that I think the present plan of announcement premature. I can't see any possible advantage & a little delay seems so much more advisable. It can't possibly make any difference in your attitude to one another either publicly or privately & that's all that counts anyway.

If you were planning on bring [?] by soon or could even name a date then there might be a reason for announcing the engagement but unfortunately, since that doens't seem possible a few more months of silence on your part & speculation on the public's, seems to put off that time of external questioning. When are you going to be married & [?]

2

you'll have time enough for that as it is I'm afraid, because after all its the wedding folks are really interested in the effect of a long engagement on your friends, as Emily says is "like waiting at the station for a train."

By the time Senior Breakfast arrives there may be many changes.

I hesitate to mention this but we can except Grandpa from the situation. A man's duty, as he sees it, is to provide his family with the material things of life. The education he's giving you is to [?] to be a provider, first of all, & if he knew you had become "entangled" before being equipped I wont even guess as to the [?] as far as he's concerned. His generosity with us has been most unusual (compare with other family men, Mr. Foster, [?] but he's super sensitive, very set & difficult in understanding (yes, & in being understood) & might take this affair at any [angle?] If you can only wait until you're graduated I feel the situation wouldn't be so difficult, for further on education is businss, you're within sight of the goal it's a man's work!

In this, we can't deny, it would be very hard

to reckon without Grandpa not only for financial reasons but for the peace & happiness of us all.

If your own happiness were going to be materially affected simply by postponing "telling the world" about it I'd feel that nothing should interfer but I can't see what there is to be gained, except perhaps a little matter of pride for you to that the thrill of telling it to unsuspecting people, unsuspecting only in that they weren't looking for the announcement at that particular time. Is this momentary pleasure worth running the risk of possible unpleasantness!

With the admission at the beginning, that its none of my businss, I can sum up my personal feelings in the matter by saying "I hope you'll wait until Senior Breakfast."

About your diamond pin. I haven't the faintest idea in the world how Granny would feel about your proposition but if there were more time I feel certain we might do something more satisfactory. Remember there's a big advantage in trading with the Bartlett Co, [?] to having a stone mounted. I have written hastily for the [?] about engraving announcements. As for these I'm not suggesting I only quoted. As for the other perhaps it would be [?] to the initiate if you stepped in the lime light & stole their party.