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16.2.60

Oh My Wonderful Sweetheart-

Your timing was so perfect in sending you letter every loving love to get here today
because it perfectly matches the spirit in my heart today and makes the lump in my
throat even bigger- its a good thing I can write instead of talk because the lump's
too big for talking right now. I love you so very much and hold you right now
so close to my heart and caress you and close my eyes and kiss you hard. Oh dearest
I can scarcely breathe my love you fills me so. The last two days have been
sort of a psychological Waterloo for me and this is the climax of it. As I only suggested
in previous letters I really got worked up this weekend- go go go and dont dare stop
working on the baking and entertainment for the fest visiting with Freiburg students and
the Krautees and then trying to know my efforts for the Antro paper. Well Sunday
night after dinner the Physical letdown came and I went to bed at 8:30. Then
yesterday morning the letdown in moral hit which I had been trying to fight off
all weekend by keeping so frantically busy. Anyway yesterday A>M> was the bottom
of the world sort of and I didn't care about anything except how lonely I was for you
and how I would rather say to hell with castles paintings German studies
and all the rest of the world and just have you in my arms aloe. I managed to
work a little on the paper and then the day was brighten a little by 2 wonderful
letters from you answering mine from Florence and also by the arrival of my second
roll of films (23 of 36 ok some of them very beautiful some of my best shots last
however). But I still felt pretty low.

The turning point came when MAry Jeanette and I agreed to take a walk in
the countryside after tea (I even kissed off 2/3 of German to pass a bus-drivers
that so I could go on the walk later.). It was simply wonderful therapy brought
me clear out of the blues. We walked along the ridge of the hill behind Stanford House on
a muddy path to the ruins of an old house over looking the valley. The winds was blowing
hard and clean against our faces and through ou hair and clothes refereeing and
envigorating. From here we went across and up another hill this one covered with thick
gloves of pine trees through which the wind whistled as at Fallen Leaf. On the ground
the leaves we cusp with a light crust of snow and tundra grass showed space with
pine needles. AS we wlaked we first let each other relax and talk freely sort of talked
ourselves clean- Let out worried and little pent up grips and hopes for the future and
dreams of you and Tony and sort of drank in nature as you and I did this summer and
fall. It was so relaxing and rejuvenating for both of us and we walked back refreshed
through the woods (no paths this time) feeling tree branches push aside before us and
the crunch of snow hardened ground beneath our feet as we bounded along free as
deer in the woods getting back just at 6 to warm up over dinner. It was wonderful
as you can see and I'm going to do it again sometimes with MAC too and others time alone
with just you by my side .

With the boose from the walk I managed to sit through a rather ordinary consort
evening in Stuttgart Mozart Symphony #40 in G Minor (which I enjoyed) and his Violin
Concerto # 4 D'major and Schumann's Symphony #4 (which I was too sleepy to follow) and still
be enough awake to remaind up until the ghostly hours of 1 am to finish writing
the anthro paper. I got up somehow at 6 am to beg in recapping it longhead. Got
it done during Music class and took it up afterwards and got my midterm back
(a 1- which was a very pleasant surprises! The good luck of the I wish!)

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