Diary

August 17 through December 31, 1985

Since the middle of last summer, I have not written a diary. The last day on which I wrote in a book was July 31, the day that I met with Kaycee Kristi and decided that Personal Accountant was dead. Even so, I made one last plea for it in my August 7 progress report, but on August 16 (mid quarter), Ida Cole told me that Microsoft had decided to shelve the project indefinitely. That weekend, I went to San Diego and Laguna Beach, and ended up with a terminated relationship with Bruce Spencer.

The next 6 weeks, I began by finishing report generation and various odds and ends for Personal Accountant. Bob and I have continued to use the software, especially in the last 3 months (see below). Next I started to look at Microsoft Windows, the IBM AT, and the EGA card. In anticipation of helping with Windows Works, I began to look at Mouseworks and Excel on the Mac, comparing them. Then I set up my AT and EGA and studied Windows technical details via the example applications in the Programmer's guide. I concluded this work period by a progress report October 4.

[Note to left of the next 4 paragraphs]"Where to live?"[/note]

Over that same six weeks I took 3 trips to LA: one Aug 21 & 22 immediately after my breakup with Bruce, one Labor Day Weekend, and one Sept 21-24. Just before the third LA trip I consolidated my feelings about where to live next, deciding LA would be best. Immediately after the third LA trip, I listed problems with LA, OC, and SD. I concluded that Southern California is out.

Because the next 2 weekends in Seattle hurt me, I took a trip the next weekend (Oct 11-14) to SF, but before starting the weekend, I sat in Stanford Library Friday afternoon and wrote up my expectations. SF did not live up to them, and I wrote up the outcome of my visit. However, I did have a beautiful Sunday afternoon at GG park, and a fun evening with Steve Markham at the I-Beam.

(These four papers are all written on yellow paper and can be found in the souvenir stack. They are thorough and a good reminder of my feelings.)

I haven't been to California since that trip to SF, except for a very quick and dirty weekend in LA October 26 for the beginning of Halloween week. I went down Friday afternoon, and returned Monday morning. Pegasus went too. Given that today is December 31, that was the last trip of 1985.

One element which may have colored my whole experience this fall is the Amitriptyline which Dr. Kuharic prescribed when I visited him Oct 10. That is a lightweight antidepressant, which for the first two weeks made me feel

very drowsy, so I have a feeling that it may have made me less sharp than I normally am at work. But it helped me through the autumn. I stopped taking it a week ago, because January has always been a positive month for me, and I want to appreach the New Year as "the real me."

Since the last progress report October 4, I have not written any progress reports, because I haven't felt like it. First, it feels odd not to be working for Bill, even if he hasn't been involved with my work for quite some time. And its odd to have a project leader like Tony who technically has been my "boss," and who wears blue jeans to work. He's smart, but no style, and he giggles too much. I can't bring myself to give him a progress report. Consequently, for my own memoirs, I will describe the quarter's work here.

One of the first things I did this quarter was to exercise my stock options. On October 9, I formally asked to exercise all the options that had vested so far, specifically 26250 shares. I did this because I was afraid that if I wanted to leave, Bill would unilaterally refuse to fulfill the grant, and it would cause me hassle, grief, and frustration. I didn't want that uncertainty. And at the September company meeting, Bill said the "fair market value" was $5.50 per share so I was sure it was a good investment that I didn't want to risk losing the right to, since it would only cost me $0.475/share. I have subsequently fully paid for those shares as well as the last 3750 shares, and placed both certificates into a safe deposit box.

As my first task, instead of creating a small Windows application as an exercise, Tony and I felt it would be good to move the current character-based Multiplan onto my AT. That turned out to be a very good exercise in learning to use Microsoft (Cmerge) C. After setting up Windows development files and an environment for working on C code, I compiled as many of the current Multiplan (2.00) modules as were applicable to the future Windows Works, and got them to link, albeit with quite a few undefined externals.

Next, I moved onto the more rewarding task of updating the Windows Multiplan (Wimp) that Karl Stork had working last spring. There have been several changes to Windows since then, so it was a challenge to modify the code appropriately to make it work again. Learning to do this and debugging the code were at least as good an exercise as creating a small application of my own would have been. Parts of the sources were in various directories on the Windows Development network, but I eventually got a full set of sources, and full set of laser listings. Ater this work, Plan could come up and it was possible to move the cursor around and see it change as it passed from area to area on the screen. You could even select a cell and enter a number, and

use the menu to format the cell. And you could setup a formula in another cell that depends on the first cell.

I was so into this work that I sacrificed my own dignity and had very quick lunches by myself, and had dinner almost every night at Wendy's. That is not good for me since I feel like I should develop more personality, character, and a set of dear friends.

Also during this early period of the quarter, there were also some design meetings primarily with Ross Hunter, Tony, and Jeff, and occasionally with Bill Gates and Jody Snodgras. I did not contribute much to these meetings because I didn't really care much about the design of the product. Bill noticed this when we all met in late October, and said via email October 31 that he was surprised that I wasn't "more vocal" in the meeting, and said it is critical that I "write and design and communicate at high bandwidth and show technical leadership."

In the same memo of October 31, Bill said he decided that leaving my salary alone and not having a bonus is fair. After some thought, I agreed about the bonus, and wrote up a 3-page memo to myself why, basically because I hadn't worked full-time all the time. But I felt that my salary and/or options should increase because I now have skills I didn't have two years ago:

I have experience designing and researching a product I worked on all aspects independently I've created a full-featured SS & DB app in a window environment I know the Mac and Windows environments I have CDP certificate Also, I should get at least an 8% raise due to increase in the CPI.

Also Bill's memo didn't mention more stock options even though my current grant ran out November 16, the fourth anniversary of my coming to Microsoft. But I didn't want to say anything until I got my first 26250 shares into a vault, which I did on November 12. Therefore, on November 14 I emailed a memo to Bill asking what Microsoft was willing to grant me in the future. And on Monday November 18, I sent a request to exercise the final 3750 shares.

[Note to left of next paragraph] PLAY + GYM [/note] The first half of this quarter had some fun moments. I already talked about SF on Oct 11-14. The next Sunday, I went shopping for a new gym because I was fed up with the Body Nautilus after they tried to charge me a $10 late fee. I found the PumpHouse gym in Bellevue. The next weekend, I was in LA for Halloween as Peg, going to Chris Hayward's party and the Probe. (Sheehean and Dean...) Neighbours threw a fun party on Halloween night. I

wore Panadors, Peg's harness, and my orange/black punk wig, and danced with the four Cathy Clone's (Ken Kaleel was one) and with John Goodman (Dan Donahue's old beau), who I took home. And Saturday Nov 2 was the party at the Aquarium, which I went to as a diver with green seaweed and a lavender eel. Carol Channing was there, so we sang Hello Dolly as she descended the staircase. The next Saturday, Nov 9, Bob and I went to Lucis De Lamermoor, and then with Gary Vaughn briefly to "Stop Making Sense" at the Egyptian, and then I took John home again with me. On Saturday Nov 16, I dorve Bob and Gary to the Vashon Ferry, which they missed, so we had dinner in West Seattle, and then I went shopping at Frederick's till midnite, and dancing afterward at Neighbour's. That makes Seattle seem like a really sophisticated city...

Also during the first half of the quarter, I reviewed the piano lessons I had taken in 1982 and 1983. Then on Tuesday November 19, I began taking lessons from David Burns, who recently moved back from San Diego. [Note to left of previous two paragraphs] PLAY + PIANO [/note]

Starting the second half of this quarter, I put aside Wimp for awhile, and decided that I felt that the SS/DB part of Works was important, and I compared Excel and Mouseworks with the Works spec to see if Works has everything I want. I did this Mon Nov 18 through Wed morning and then Wed afternoon had a meeting with Tony, Bill and Ed to discuss the spec. I was quite vocal during that meeting.

On Wed night, I had felt that I wanted to stay home and get accounting for depreciation and losses done. On Thurs morning it started to snow hard and it kept snowing hard all day, so I had my excuse! It felt GREAT to stay home and get personal things done. I didn't go to work Friday either. Saturday and Sunday were also spent doing miscellaneous jobs and accounting, except for brunch with Mom and Dad at Spinakers in Shilshole.

The next Monday, I had to talk with the CBT group together with Tony. It felt very strange for him to take the leading role in those discussions. After 10 years with Microsoft, and 4 years recently in Bellevue, one would think I would be off the bottom rung! On Tuesday, Ed, Bill, Tony and I met to talk about reports and forms. Good meeting. (After piano lesson, David and I went to Michael's for hottub; it snowed hard that night.) And Wednesday (the last day before Thanksgiving break), all I did was put new Masm into system, and Tony broached subject of managing testing, which sounded good at the time.

Also that Wednesday, Bill Gates offered to grant me 2000 more shares over 4 years. That's just 500 a year, compared to the 30000 I already have. I can

invest only $5.50 times 500 or $2750 per year and the shares won't be appreciating as fast as the previous ones. I was not inspired and enthused.

Then on Thanksgiving I did more accounting, getting the book values for investments accurate, and using Excel to present market values of investments. Very nice day, even though I just spent it alone, accounting. I went to Edgewater for dinner with parents and Emily. The rest of the break was spent on personal odd jobs, finishing accounting and market evaluation, gym, and Mom and Emily's birthday Saturday Nov 30 (shopping and Wharf). On Sunday evening, I helped Bob print reports showing budget for Dec 1985 and the first quarter of 1986.

The next week, starting Mon Dec 2, I worked on Wimp more, studying flow of control to and from Windows, via Symdeb, to feel really confident that I understand Windows from a technical point of view. Tuesday evening, I was really into finishing my accounting, so after piano lession, I finally unraveled Henry Kuharic's bill to me. I took off Thursday to do odd jobs.

Friday, because I had the options response and the check for the 3750 shares had cleared, I finally emailed Bill my feelings that I should have at least a CPI raise. Also that day, my AT hard disk was replaced, and I worked on Wimp some more, and on Saturday all day too. That evening I watched the first part of Victor/Victoria on TV, went to Fredericks very late, and then dancing at Neighbours. Sunday after the gym, Bob and I dressed up and went to Bill Morgan's crowded Christmas party and then to the Seattle Counseling Center for their charity auction, at which I bought a $250 German Parlor table, and various crystal and porcelain. Good time. [Note to left of the above paragraph] PLAY Dec 7 Sat - 8 Sun [/note]

On Mon Dec 9, I studied the new Works spec, and finished Wimp dialogs in the evening, so that I could distribute it at the design meeting Tuesday morning, wehre the whole group (but not Bill) met Tuesday afternoon. I finally wrote up a note on why Personal Accountant can't help consumers. Wednesday morning I went to the first dental checkup since Aug 84, and in the afternoon, I had a project sheduling meeting with Tony, Bill Bader, Ed Ringness, and Jeff. I didn't contribute much, and was unexcited.

Thursday morning Dec 12, I went to the gym and picked up the final 3750 Microsoft shares, and put the certificate in the safe deposit box. In the afternoon I talked with Mark Moeller about testing. In the evening I took home and put away all my Pers Acct notes. Friday afternoon, I talked with Jeff and Tony about testing. I couldn't WAIT to be done with that meeting and get away. That night was the Microsoft Christmas party at the Westin, the first one I ever went to. It wasn't bad on coffee and Schnapps. Talked