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ture of cows and of dhoora, but he had 40,000 mouths to feed, *
and was undergoing daily bombardment. It might be difficult to
decide whether to adopt the Nile route or not; but it was palpable
that if it were to be adopted at all it must be adopted without delay,
for the constant river, whose floods had been registered by Egyp-
tian rulers from the Pharaohs downwards, was no respecter of
persons, and the delay of some months was sure to be fatal. Even
the Nile was blamed by some ministerial parasites for being low;
but we read in Gordon's Journal: "It was not a low Nile–it was
an average Nile, only you were too late."

Gloom could not but possess the minds of those who knew the
characters of Gordon and of those who were dooming him to
starvation and to death. Readers of his Journal will remember
the scorn with which he resented the insinuation that an expedition
should be sent for his personal relief. Alone–Stewart and the
others having descended the river–he writes:

24th September.–"I altogether decline the imputation that the
expedition has come to relieve me. I has come to save our
national honour in extricating the garrisons &c., from a position
our action in Egypt has placed these garrisons in. I was relief
expedition No. 1; they are relief expedition No. 2. As for myself,
I could make good my retreaat at any moment if I wished. Now
realize what would happen if this first expedition was to bolt,
and the steamers fell into the hands of the Mahdi; this second relief
expedition (for the honour of England engaged in extricating
garrisons) would be somewhat hampered."

3rd October.–"I hope I am not going down to history as being
the cause of this expedition, for I decline the imputation. The expedition comes up to deliver the garrisons."

9th November.–"The people up here would reason thus if I
attempted to leave.... 'We suffered and are suffering great
privations in order to hold the town....Now we can, after our
obstinate defense expect no mercy from the Mahdi who will avenge
on us all the blood which has been spilt around Khartoum. You
have taken our money and promised to repay us; all this goes for
nought if you quit us; it is your bounden duty to stay by us and
to share our fate; if the British Government deserts us, that is
no reason for you to do so, after our having stood by you.' I
declare positively and once for all, that I will not leave the Soudan
until every one who wants to go down is given the chance to do
so, unless a government is established which relieves me of the
charge. Therefore, if any emissary or letter comes up here order-
ing me to go down, I will not obey it, but will stay here, and fall

* Gordon's last Journal, p. 272.