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Kulin legends.

The Departure of Bunjil.

2. line 5. 'who are in these legends' would suggest the leaving
out of this phrase. It sounds strange to speak of
people 'being in legends'.

Karbum the Kuleen

3. line 23. Should not 'the other' be 'an other' ; the former
sounds as if there were only two of them

5 line 3. foot note reference to 'moreny ? is on the previous
page. The compositor will have a fit.

Balayang and his two wives

7 line 4. If Balayang was brother of Bunjil +
Bunjil had a son how could Balayang be
brother of the latter. It says "He was the brother
of all men also". ? If the word brother
is the exact term to use. People will at
once attach the English meaning to it.
Same remark applies to sister though I cant
make out her name.

11. Suggest leaving out the word 'Besides'.

The Kuleen Deluge
17. line 1. Would not 'white man's' sound
better than 'white fellows'.

Kururak + Burimil
22 line 25. Is not the word 'mocked' unsuitable
for a native. Would not 'feered' be better

Legend of Loin etc

31. line 18. Might it not be better to put it thus
"a Laughing-jackass, as the giant king fishes
is called, on a tree" etc.

line 30. Reference to Latribe Papers should be given in
footnote with page on which quotation occurs for the
use of people who wish to refer to the original. ? what
are these papers. Some are ot be published shortly called
by this name. Date of their publication should be given
to distinguish them.

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