07. Nellie's Letters, May 12-June 29, 1865

Norway Me. May 12th 1865.

My Friend Harry,

Many thanks for yours of the 11th ult. telling me of your safe arrival. I am glad for you that your reception was so cordial, and that you found so many old friends. -- and more than glad that those same old friends were unable to dissuade you from your resolution to be a temperate man. 'Tis so much easier to please ones friends even at some self sacrifice, that I can imagine something of the struggle it cost. I do hope and pray you may be able to keep all of your good resolutions in regard to your future life.

Do you know -- I couldn't for a moment have thought of your proposition, had I not thought you a different person from the Harry I knew years ago. Then you were merely the pleasant acquaintance, not the man I could respect and perhaps learn to love. Now -- I don't know what to say to you or how to say it. I thought I should have been able to make a final decision on this. I dare not engage myself to you fearing I may not love you, and I am sorry to have you feel so sure of me when I am no surer of myself. I wish you were near me, that I might prove my own heart. Indeed I don't think I shall ever know until we meet again, but Harry if finally we can be nothing more than friends, don't blame me. I've told you not to trust me, and really you are safer not to. You

don't want me without all the love I am capable of giving, and if another gains that, why I can't help it, and you will of course consider yourself well out of the affair. Time will prove us both. By the way -- I had a fortune given me the other night. you will find it on this slip of paper. -- is it a warning? I don't know how to apply it, help me.

I came back last week. The people seemed quite gald to see me after my three weeks absence. Lue says I grew pretty (you think there is chance enough?) and quiet. Many things combined to render the latter true. But the worst trouble I have now is to find another boarding place. These people don't want us any longer and I can't think of any body who does. Truly it's an unpleasant state of affairs to be without a home when love or money won't make one.

Think I will set up a boarding house on my own hook.

Add and Flo are to be made one the fifteenth of next month. They will travel about three months and seem very happy at the prospect.

Nellie Denison commits matrimony sometime this month, and Kate D -- is expecting her "lawyer" home very soon.

Ella Tucker is also making ready for the hymenical noose, and "they say" Hen Greely has shown some symptoms. However she has moved to Mass, so we shall lose the opportunity of watching the progress of the disease.

Brother Gilbert who tells pretty little stories in his sermons has resigned and will leave here quite soon.

Mr Leonard our school teacher has left, so there are two vacant places, and I hope some nice young men may feel the spirit move them to take up their residence here.

The war seems to be virtually over and we are hoping our Capt. may "come marching home" soon. -- anyway in season for the wedding

Don't allow your veracity to suffer when recounting your wonderful exploits as a soldier, -- keep truth on your side. I've had occasion many times to thank my lucky stars that I was not given to fibbing, when in the course of time I have seen how nicely I should have been exposed had I yielded to temptation

We made Augusta a call Sunday evening. They seem very happy and cosy, and are evidently a "good match," notwithstanding the predictions to the contrary. Abner takes almost every opportunity to sound me on the California question. How much wiser he is in consequence, is but known to himself.